because I can and it if I get a good response I might actually give it to my rents ~_~

[ckssunshine.livejournal.com]

I pretend for you. I play barbies for you. I try not to show my true self for you. And what is the result? YOu believe I am cured. you think just because I don't talk about it, it's gone away. Like a bad flu. But you're wrong. It's still here all inside, killing me. I try hard for you, but you don't notice. All you see is yourself- what you want- ANd It hurts my Soul, what you do to me.
You think hmm SHE hasn't said anything in a while maybe it's gone away? nope. still here still tortured. When I see Dr Harvey it isn't going to go away. It's only gonna get "worse" or better for me. I wish you could see. dammit. Why can't you understnad? why can't you accept me? For what I am.
I am a fag. I am gay. I am a boy. I am the person I always have been only I don't have this weighing me down. I am David Connor Moreno. I am in so much pain you wouldn't believe me unless you felt it. I am so scared. Maybe it was your fault, Maybe you weren't there enough. Maybe it was jsut a freak overdose in the womb. I cna't change what I feel. Nor can anyone else. Gay men can't become straight, only by denying what they really feel.
I've tried everything. I'm tired, I'mjust tired. Not physically but emotionally. I can't take it. you either need to suck it up and deal or let me go somewhere to cool off. Where I can be myself Where I can be a boy.
I know you think geez we give HER everthing and this is what we get?
I thank you for all the things you provide for me. BUt you know I would rather have nothing and have your support and love. I need you. I need your support, I need your backup. It doens't cost a thing I swear. I'm not asking for money, I'm not asking you to give your life. I jsut need your love. that's all.

-Me-