Really Hurt (Need Advice) Off Topic Sorry

[raeofhope27.livejournal.com]

Well Today I was at work and I saw my half sister Desiree (my dad's Daughter from 1st Marriage) Well, I have not seen her or heard from her in 9 years when my father died. Anyhow, I was checking out customers and I see this grl and her little girl and I am like OH MY GAWD THATS MY SISTER!!! (We have never been close at all. I have always wanted a friendship/relationship with her and she would never give that to me.She has never wanted a relationship and my dad always tried as i was growing up, but she just wouldn't.) She came up to the counter and I was checking her items out and I said to her,"You are my sister Desiree?" and she responded with, " I am Desiree. Not ur Sister." That Just broke my heart. My eyes were welling with tears and I was so upset and I still kept a little conversation. She said our cousin Julie told her I was living here in Albuquerque, and I told her I had to get away from my mom and she said that was an understatement. ( She has told everyone that my mom treated her horribly when she lived with my dad and mom when she was young. She said horrible things about my mom to my cousin Julie.. like my mom beat her and my mom is not like that!! Yeah she has a temper and yells, but never or hardly hit me as a child.) and She was talking to me in a mean tone... Like she wished she never saw me or knew me. I was so hurt that she didn't acknowledge me as her sister or half sister. I called my mom and told her what happened and I told her that WE HAVE THE SAME FATHER AND HIS BLOOD RUNS THROUGH OUR VAINS!!! I guess u can't make someone be a prt of your life if they don't to to be... I wanna talk to Desiree and ask her what her deal is and why she won't consider getting to know me. I am not my mom and her having anything to do with me doesn't need to involve my mom. Cause she hates my mom. Any of you people who are on my friends or in LJ land have any advice... Should I tell her how I feel... I can get her number from my cousin Julie. Ahhh Damn!!! Advice Please!!!! I just need to express my feelings to her. If my father was alive he would be so disappointed cause he tried for so long to get us to have some sort of sister bond... nine damn years and I have not heard from her and as my father lay on his deathbed passed away she held onto me as i cried for our father and cried and said she would be my sister and be there for me. I was 12 yrs old and I remember her words exactly!!!! She lied to me!!! I am so hurting inside...because of her lie. I believed her. (Desiree is 30 now and I am 21)

i know this song isn't really about tranniness (if that's a word), but still...

[chyzar.livejournal.com]

this song cheered me up a little, when i was feeling all torn up about crazy gender issues...

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[usefuljack.livejournal.com]

can anybody give me the lowdown on the blue star tattoo on the wrist?

jack

20/20 anyone?

[butterflywing.livejournal.com]

Did anyone happen to see the report on 20/20 the other night about intersexed people? My mom (of all people) just mentioned it to me. She said it was really good :)