Question

[sometimes-nate.livejournal.com]

I was playing poker with the guys last night (something I do twice a week) and they asked me how my transition was going (a question which came out of nowhere and made me kind of happy, since I thought my coming out to them had gone in one collective ear and out the other), and I told them about how I was starting therapy and such, and one said, "Why?" and I said, "Well, technically it's required before I do anything medical which could be irreversible. They have to make sure that I need it, and that I'm not too messed up." Another guy, who I consider a friend, said "Well, you are messed up. It's a mental disease." I tried to ignore this comment, but the first guy asked me how long I would be in therapy and I answered, "The requirement is three months," and another guy (who is generally conservative) said, "What is this world coming to? That's so irresponsible of the psychological community. It used to be over a year." The other guy asked him about this, while I sat there in semi-shock, and he responded, "Well, it's a psychological and physiological disorder. 'Real' gender dysphoria implies that a person's brain chemistry is 'messed up'--it doesn't match their body. It's criminally irresponsible of any proper psychologist to diagnose it and recommend medical treatment that quickly." Criminally irresponsible, eh? I was angry now and mentioned something about how some guys get around the therapy "requirement" because they don't really need it, and of course he went nuts over this idea, surprised that it was even possible and appearing to be ready to drag every trans person he could find to the nearest psychiatrist. I said that many people didn't consider it to be that sort of "disorder," much as homosexuality has recently been accepted as not being a disorder, and now he was practically spitting nails. "Of course it's a disease! Your brain chemistry is screwed up!"
Around this point I stopped talking about it, and everyone at the table at least *appeared* to be on my side on this one, willing to take my well-researched point of view over his poker table diagnosis, but I know this might not always be the case. For all I know, people in my dorm are going around thinking, "She's just crazy, she'll get medication or something and be fine."
How do you deal with these reactions, especially from concerned "friends" who might have personal biases against accepting transsexuals as healthy human beings? I don't want to be someone's friend out of pity, or with them thinking that I'm completely off my rocker, but I don't want to deal with it by ignoring him, because that might just make it look like I'm embarassed or I realize that he's right (gag). Does anyone have any references or anything I could use? I think he might be open to reading something...
Thanks,
Nate