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Aug. 19th, 2003 09:40 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
waterispretty.livejournal.comI'm 19, and have way toomuch caffeine in my system right now. I'm confused about my gender right now. I was born female, but feel like a guy about six days every week.
I'm trying to think of a guy name to use. My given name is Lorelei, and my pseudonames for buying things online are Sammie and Lee. The only male name that I have had a strong attraction to is my great uncle's, but it's an old timey name, so it would be weird to go by now, unless I was a senior citizen.
I also am not in a really good mood, because I don't think that my friends would take my crossdressing seriously. For one, I can't pass because I have 40DDD boobs, and also I'm always telling people that I'm not ftm, because last year a teacher told me that she thought I had gender issues and should seek counseling. I wasn't ready for that and started bashing the trans community for a little while, but I'm over that now. I get really upset when my friends talk about how femme I am, because I don't want to come off that way. It's just that I'm a push over and a poet, so I come off really femme when I'm not at all.
I'm also kind of scared, because my father saw me crossdressing once, and told me not to do it again or else. I don't know what "else" is, but it can't be a good thing, and he seemed really serious about it.
I'm trying to think of a guy name to use. My given name is Lorelei, and my pseudonames for buying things online are Sammie and Lee. The only male name that I have had a strong attraction to is my great uncle's, but it's an old timey name, so it would be weird to go by now, unless I was a senior citizen.
I also am not in a really good mood, because I don't think that my friends would take my crossdressing seriously. For one, I can't pass because I have 40DDD boobs, and also I'm always telling people that I'm not ftm, because last year a teacher told me that she thought I had gender issues and should seek counseling. I wasn't ready for that and started bashing the trans community for a little while, but I'm over that now. I get really upset when my friends talk about how femme I am, because I don't want to come off that way. It's just that I'm a push over and a poet, so I come off really femme when I'm not at all.
I'm also kind of scared, because my father saw me crossdressing once, and told me not to do it again or else. I don't know what "else" is, but it can't be a good thing, and he seemed really serious about it.