three days ? of chaos and caring

[teddybearsue.livejournal.com]

The last 3 days have been so chaotic, trying to be there for friends, having them there for me, trying to support my daughter in a wait until 17th February before we get any answers on her hearing (what can an audiologist tell us beyond that it's not earwax). I'm about to try and get to sleep before the sun comes up.

Sarah, linkey, I don't know how to say thank you for giving me back my life (well the ability to remember it, the rest as you know I"m slowly processing the approx 30 years I'd blocked out). I'm definately going to continue working on that, and on the biography I have to write. No one should have to go through the pain so many of us go through, maybe if I can get a book published it might save even one wonderful person from ending their life too soon, if so it will be worth it. You've been in so much pain, but still been able to help me at the same time, you are truly a very special person.

The last week, the caring, chaos, support and friendship have shown me one thing. People can criticise the internet all they like, I've seen it save lives, sanity, bring happiness to my daughter as she deals with the fear of losing her beloved music forever (she can hear my very noisy vacuum cleaner up close, does that show that what she has can be fixed or amplified?), the internet being so visual has helped her a lot, as have her chat friends. Chris, Nathan, Irene, thank you for helping my bekaj, she's such a loving, caring and accepting young lady (at 14 with the maturity and humour she has coped with this latest I can no longer call her a child - Bek you are special).

To my friends who have been hurting so badly lately, I know you read this, things are going to get better. Thank you for your friendship, support and caring, sorry I haven't caught up with replying to comments at the moment, but I am thinking of you all, friends and community friends from all over here. Members of the communities I help run, trans_fibro_crs and transabusevic I send caring out to you all to heal physical and emotional pain, and thank you for reaching out despite your own pain and problems.

I know the last 3 days (has it really only been three days, too many nights staying awake I've lost track of where one day begins) have been incredibly hard, and the last few weeks not much easier. Hope things can calm down a bit now. Really looking forward to tonight, to go to a church that accepts me as I am, affirms who I am, after being rejected by so called "christians" at 16, to finally find a church at 44.

It's almost sunup, going to spellcheck (excuse cross posting) and then go to bed.
A very weary 5.30am goodnight, hugs, Simon

Paper for lesbian conference

[my-mundane-life.livejournal.com]

Apologies for cross-posting

Hi, I'm Tam. I'm presenting a paper at a conference entitled 'Lesbian Lives' and my paper will be focusing on trans-lesbians. The conference is based around lesbianism since the book 'The Lesbian Postmodern.' I am currently working on a PhD about intimate relationships involving transpeople.

I was wondering if anyone had any comments on what is important to include in a paper about trans-lesbians.

My main ideas so far are as follows -

* What is a lesbian? What is postmodernism? How do these two engage with each other - is a postmodern lesbianism feasible or do we need to go beyond labels like lesbian to truly realise the vision of postmodernism?
* How do 'lesbian' and 'trans' intersect? (transmen who id'd as lesbian, transwomen who id as lesbian, lesbians in relationships with transpeople)
* How do lesbians respond to trans lesbians? Lesbian feminists, lesbians out at bars etc.
* My research - what I'm looking at. Discussion of interviews.
* Transwomen feeling more accepted within bi community - both marginalised by lesbians.
* Does lesbianism presume the existence of a vagina? Can transwomen who haven't yet had surgery or who don't want or can't get surgery be accepted as lesbian?
Will 'lesbian' be eclipsed by 'queer?' Are more lesbians identifying as queer?

Any input would be appreciated - particularly anyone's experiences of being trans and lesbians.

Thanks!