(no subject)

[sophiaserpentia.livejournal.com]

Presently, I live with my girlfriend, her husband, and my girlfriend's 8-year-old son, A. A. has been around trans people pretty much his whole life and has had no difficulty understanding that I am addressed as a girl named Sabrina. (Many children I've encountered have an appreciation for the arbitrariness of gender and don't seem to have a great deal of trouble with the concept of transgenderism.)

I had a dream last night that A. introduced me to a few of his schoolmates, one of whom insisted that I was just a guy pretending to be a girl.

Now, when presented with this accusation from an adult, I have a good idea of how to argue in response -- for example by pointing out recent neurological research about brain gendering, and the effects on sexuality and gender identity brought about by abnormally low or abnormally high androgen exposure during key stages of fetal development. And so on.

But I would have no idea what to say to an 8-year-old. Any thoughts?

SIGH

[freeme81.livejournal.com]

Feeling like shit today...and for once in a long time it has nothing to do with my mother or my transition process.

I got a written warning at my job today. It basically said that I was lazy (not the exact words) and that I focus too much on myself rather than the children. In some ways that's true. I do sometimes focus more on other things but not to the point that it makes me a bad counselor. And the laziness thing...well considering that I told them straight up from day one that I had leg problems and couldn't do a lot of walking/running, I feel like that's unfair.

Then the assistant director, after I reiterated the fact that I leg problems, was like "maybe you should reconsider this job because it requires a lot of walking and running" and I'm thinking to myself, "WTF!" I mean, I have every right to have this job reguardless of my physical ability.

Plus there was something about how I shouldn't be writing in my journal while supervising the kids. Apparently, when asked, other counselors said I do that a lot. Which I do. And I understand that I shouldn't. With that, I absolutely agree. I'm completely wrong to do that. BUT at the same time, what about these same counselors that take time away from the kids to run to the bank or send a text message on their cell phone when supervising kids. Why aren't they getting reprimanded for that? No one is telling the directors about that fact are they? And of course I can't say anything to the directors about because that would seem childish like tattle telling. So I still end up looking like that sole fuck up. Great.

Anyway, I signed the written warning thing just so they could leave me alone. The same organization that runs the camp runs the after school program in the school year and I'd love to work there but now I'm kinda like "do I wanna work with these people?" but on the other hand, they DID have a point on some things that I definitely need to work on and I can't just up and quit a job everytime I get reprimanded for something. The whole thing just really plays on my self esteem and I no longer feel like I can trust any of my other counselors.