Leverage.

[teichan.livejournal.com]

I've thought about this a lot, and it still doesn't make sense. So you'll all have to deal with me babbling about it.

Basically, I feel like taking the step last year to stop worrying about how I look and stuff is ultimately costing me a bunch of karma points, for whatever reasons it may be. I'm sure that typically, if someone's looking to hire people in the kind of business that experience is optional but welcome. Unless every single applicant but myself has even some sort of experience, it would make sense that I'd have a welcome chance at getting hired. Of course, there's the complex that if I can't find someone to hire me in the first place, I'll never have job experience that they want, but. . that just comes with it. If not experience, me being - for the most part - openly transseuxal makes me an easy target to cross out.

With that, I feel I miss a bit of leverage when it comes to other people that, say, aren't "out" at work. Basically, since I'm already "out," they don't get much of an idea who I am, but with another person "coming out," opinions are already formed, and laws already protect against things of that sort, right?

The same can be said for dating, I suppose ( athough, I can't say I've ever been attracted to someone of either gender, so that makes talking about it a bit harder ). I can't think of a lot of reasonably straight guys that'd want to fall in love with a trans-girl, let alone spend the rest of their life with someone like that ( usually, I guess, because having children becomes a desire? I don't know. . ). Nor can I say the same for women, I guess. Okay! So relationship-talk I'm compltely naive about.

But you see where I'm coming from, right? . . so what, then? Do I just give up now, or keep going? Is there even a point to going on?

. . why can't I be more coherent at three in the morning.