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Mar. 31st, 2006 01:45 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
moogiewoogie.livejournal.comLast night when I came home I seriously thought I was going to finally crack up. After being yelled at by fellow employees and yelling back, I felt a little awkward coming in today, but I still did it because I'm a good employee.
So I was called into the manager's office about the incident. Both the director and my supervisor were there. The director violently raised his voice and derided me for nearly 20 minutes while my supervisor just sat there and took notes. When it was all over, I cried. I cried really hard, and I felt sick. I told them that I'd be looking for new employment.
I feel like Pittsburgh is over for me. I don't have many opportunities here, and where I am now is not exactly a big friendly place. I have a stalker trying to track me down so he can "choke me until I stop breathing", I have no job, and of course, no family or friends. Part of me wants to blame transition. I figure that, hey, I didn't have any of these problems before transition. I would've just yelled at them both, felt angry, then walked away. Instead, now, I'm dwelling on it, sad and hurt. It feels odd. I want out.
I've got three decisions, and I don't like two of them. One of them would be finding a roommate in another city...preferably Seattle, WA or Boston, MA, where the tech field is strong and where I can use my skills to get a job where I am paid decent money. The second option is staying in Pittsburgh with my friend, finding a new job, then quitting this one. The third option is giving up and going back to my abusive mother and father.
I'm 21 years old, and I feel lost. I honestly, don't know where to turn. I want to just pick up everything and move somewhere more liberal. Tonight I actually listed a bunch of my posessions on eBay and Craigslist, just so, if it comes down to me moving away, I'll have little to move and nothing to worry about.
I just don't know what to do. Today has been a mish-mash of crying, talking to myself, eBay posting, and binge eating. I wish I could trade this life in for a new one.
So I was called into the manager's office about the incident. Both the director and my supervisor were there. The director violently raised his voice and derided me for nearly 20 minutes while my supervisor just sat there and took notes. When it was all over, I cried. I cried really hard, and I felt sick. I told them that I'd be looking for new employment.
I feel like Pittsburgh is over for me. I don't have many opportunities here, and where I am now is not exactly a big friendly place. I have a stalker trying to track me down so he can "choke me until I stop breathing", I have no job, and of course, no family or friends. Part of me wants to blame transition. I figure that, hey, I didn't have any of these problems before transition. I would've just yelled at them both, felt angry, then walked away. Instead, now, I'm dwelling on it, sad and hurt. It feels odd. I want out.
I've got three decisions, and I don't like two of them. One of them would be finding a roommate in another city...preferably Seattle, WA or Boston, MA, where the tech field is strong and where I can use my skills to get a job where I am paid decent money. The second option is staying in Pittsburgh with my friend, finding a new job, then quitting this one. The third option is giving up and going back to my abusive mother and father.
I'm 21 years old, and I feel lost. I honestly, don't know where to turn. I want to just pick up everything and move somewhere more liberal. Tonight I actually listed a bunch of my posessions on eBay and Craigslist, just so, if it comes down to me moving away, I'll have little to move and nothing to worry about.
I just don't know what to do. Today has been a mish-mash of crying, talking to myself, eBay posting, and binge eating. I wish I could trade this life in for a new one.
