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Transgender Day of Remembrance
Nov. 19th, 2006 01:02 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
jenndolari.livejournal.comAngels & Aliens - http://www.littlelevers.com/Angels/
Forsaken - http://www.dolari.net/dor/2006/forsaken.htm
Nov. 19th, 2006
jenndolari.livejournal.comAngels & Aliens - http://www.littlelevers.com/Angels/
Forsaken - http://www.dolari.net/dor/2006/forsaken.htm
Transgender Day of Remembrance
Nov. 19th, 2006 02:14 pmjenndolari.livejournal.comThe following additional webcomic has posted a strip commemorating the Transgender Day of Remembrance.
Three Random Words - http://trw.comicgenesis.com/
Three Random Words - http://trw.comicgenesis.com/
Getting close
Nov. 19th, 2006 05:50 pmkristencordy.livejournal.comI am going to transition at work in January, and divorce seems to be sealed.
So I am going out as Kris more and more and feel that I just blend in which is how I want this to be all the time. My style is a cross between Eddie Bauer and Nordstrom.
I have a consultation with a Doctor tomorrow to have advice on facial work and augmentation. Dr. Wang in Portland is supposed to be an artist with facial work.
I may try to schedule the nip and tuck during the 2 weeks I take off from work after the official transition date.
My angel is hopefully getting the final process of her divorce done tomorrow. The ex was a cruel abuser and she has taken too much. Even with this she wants to walk this journey with me and I am amazed at her love.
So things are looking better
KC
So I am going out as Kris more and more and feel that I just blend in which is how I want this to be all the time. My style is a cross between Eddie Bauer and Nordstrom.
I have a consultation with a Doctor tomorrow to have advice on facial work and augmentation. Dr. Wang in Portland is supposed to be an artist with facial work.
I may try to schedule the nip and tuck during the 2 weeks I take off from work after the official transition date.
My angel is hopefully getting the final process of her divorce done tomorrow. The ex was a cruel abuser and she has taken too much. Even with this she wants to walk this journey with me and I am amazed at her love.
So things are looking better
KC
Transgender Day of Remembrance
Nov. 19th, 2006 06:48 pmjenndolari.livejournal.comComfortably Numb - http://comfortablynumb.comicgenesis.com/
Second Stage - http://www.dolari.net/dor/2006/secondst.htm
Over-due Reflecting
Nov. 19th, 2006 10:20 pmsavannahkestrel.livejournal.com'allo there. My name is Savannah. A somewhat uncommon name, but it's my name nevertheless. I worked quite hard for my name. Sometime ago, my name was "Matthew". As of right now, the only person who calls me such is my mother.
It was nine months ago that I had sat just outside the San Diego court waiting for the balif to hand me the signed and stamped documents officially changing my name. It was four months ago that I had sat on the Amtrak for 19 hours making my way to Meyers in the Tahoe basin to work for the California Conservation Corps. It's been 11 months since I've started hormones and laser hair removal on my face.
When I first started my transition seriously, nearly a year ago, I felt it neccessary to let my friends know that I was transgender. That it was my serious intention to have a sex change, change my name, and that I'm not a boy, but a girl. Well, to my expectations, that turned away a lot of people. It's just something people find odd and strange. But despite that, I still told them. Well, I wasn't exactly "passing" either. So, some people would find it an embarassment to be around me.
It feels like a decade has passed since then. So much has happened. Today, the only people who know I'm transgender are the Center Director and few select staff; In case of a medical emergency, they said. My closest friend, Alex, doesn't even know. And he's probably the closest friend I've had yet. And somehow, I'm deathly afraid of telling him. Anxiety just builds in my chest merely thinking about it. So, I haven't. Not for a long time. It's fairly easy to just stick that in the back out my mind. I just blend into my somewhat unique roll (At least to the center here); A rather tom-boyish lesbian.
I feel terribly guilty for not telling him, and the others of whom I'm close to here. But then I think of the few times I've heard people use the word "transgender" around here. It's never in a nice way. It's always referring to "those people" in a derrogitory way. Telling someone changes the way they think about you. The way they see you. The way they act around you. I don't want that. I've grown too comfortable here; I don't want it to change. But.. It's not right to keep hiding it from him.
I like to be out with my friends. I hate hiding things. I'm usually terrible at it, but fear of the reactions of people here has made me good at it. I'm really at a loss for what to do.
I hadn't thought about any of this in forever. I was standing around in Cosco when I saw this book "Magical Thinking". Had a pitcher pouring water into a class, but the water went up. Picked it up and the first chapter was about a person who had admired transgender people. That threw all sorts of things to the front of my mind. I haven't had to worry about "passing" in five months now, I'm just who I am. And that happens to be a boyish girl. No one's seemed to bother me too much on that. Though, I don't have any realy prospects of continuing my treatment. No doctor's notes or psychiatrists or plans for surgery. The route of the CCC acts as somewhat of a barrier to that. And I honestly don't know how I could start back on track.
For a while now, I've actually had a negative connotation on the word "transgender". I distance myself from it. Hardly a sense of unity with me. If someone were to ask me, I'd deny it. Hardly proud of it. Or am I? I'm not sure. Everything I've done so far has been painful and very difficult. Oh, god. The new laser place I'm going to in the Tahoe Basin... the most pain I've ever felt. I actually wimper through it. But it works great. And there's no acknowledgment in it. I don't get an award for my "struggle". Actually, I do my best to hide all evidence of it. People think I'm strange enough without adding the whole "sex change" into their heads. Though, I'm rather popular now. "A leader in the community", as I'm told by my supervisors. Hate to ruin that by "coming out", too. Hate to change their thinking or behavior.
But is that really bad? That they see me for what I "really am"? It -is- part of who I am. It's helped turn me into the person I am today. I am mtf transgender. I'm also a girl. A lesbian. A sawyer, a firefighter, and very lost.
I really don't have anyone to talk to about all these issues anymore. Before I left for Tahoe, I was out with my friends. They knew and understood. And I could talk to them. Now, I just hide. *sigh*
Alright, it's late. I have to work tomorrow. Good night everyone.
~Sav
It was nine months ago that I had sat just outside the San Diego court waiting for the balif to hand me the signed and stamped documents officially changing my name. It was four months ago that I had sat on the Amtrak for 19 hours making my way to Meyers in the Tahoe basin to work for the California Conservation Corps. It's been 11 months since I've started hormones and laser hair removal on my face.
When I first started my transition seriously, nearly a year ago, I felt it neccessary to let my friends know that I was transgender. That it was my serious intention to have a sex change, change my name, and that I'm not a boy, but a girl. Well, to my expectations, that turned away a lot of people. It's just something people find odd and strange. But despite that, I still told them. Well, I wasn't exactly "passing" either. So, some people would find it an embarassment to be around me.
It feels like a decade has passed since then. So much has happened. Today, the only people who know I'm transgender are the Center Director and few select staff; In case of a medical emergency, they said. My closest friend, Alex, doesn't even know. And he's probably the closest friend I've had yet. And somehow, I'm deathly afraid of telling him. Anxiety just builds in my chest merely thinking about it. So, I haven't. Not for a long time. It's fairly easy to just stick that in the back out my mind. I just blend into my somewhat unique roll (At least to the center here); A rather tom-boyish lesbian.
I feel terribly guilty for not telling him, and the others of whom I'm close to here. But then I think of the few times I've heard people use the word "transgender" around here. It's never in a nice way. It's always referring to "those people" in a derrogitory way. Telling someone changes the way they think about you. The way they see you. The way they act around you. I don't want that. I've grown too comfortable here; I don't want it to change. But.. It's not right to keep hiding it from him.
I like to be out with my friends. I hate hiding things. I'm usually terrible at it, but fear of the reactions of people here has made me good at it. I'm really at a loss for what to do.
I hadn't thought about any of this in forever. I was standing around in Cosco when I saw this book "Magical Thinking". Had a pitcher pouring water into a class, but the water went up. Picked it up and the first chapter was about a person who had admired transgender people. That threw all sorts of things to the front of my mind. I haven't had to worry about "passing" in five months now, I'm just who I am. And that happens to be a boyish girl. No one's seemed to bother me too much on that. Though, I don't have any realy prospects of continuing my treatment. No doctor's notes or psychiatrists or plans for surgery. The route of the CCC acts as somewhat of a barrier to that. And I honestly don't know how I could start back on track.
For a while now, I've actually had a negative connotation on the word "transgender". I distance myself from it. Hardly a sense of unity with me. If someone were to ask me, I'd deny it. Hardly proud of it. Or am I? I'm not sure. Everything I've done so far has been painful and very difficult. Oh, god. The new laser place I'm going to in the Tahoe Basin... the most pain I've ever felt. I actually wimper through it. But it works great. And there's no acknowledgment in it. I don't get an award for my "struggle". Actually, I do my best to hide all evidence of it. People think I'm strange enough without adding the whole "sex change" into their heads. Though, I'm rather popular now. "A leader in the community", as I'm told by my supervisors. Hate to ruin that by "coming out", too. Hate to change their thinking or behavior.
But is that really bad? That they see me for what I "really am"? It -is- part of who I am. It's helped turn me into the person I am today. I am mtf transgender. I'm also a girl. A lesbian. A sawyer, a firefighter, and very lost.
I really don't have anyone to talk to about all these issues anymore. Before I left for Tahoe, I was out with my friends. They knew and understood. And I could talk to them. Now, I just hide. *sigh*
Alright, it's late. I have to work tomorrow. Good night everyone.
~Sav
(no subject)
Nov. 19th, 2006 11:58 pmjenndolari.livejournal.comThe following webcomics have currently posted strips commemorating today's Transgender Day of Remembrance.
Angels & Aliens - Comfortably Numb - Disassemblance - Forsaken
From then on Forth - Grey Matters - Happy but Dead - High Maintenance
Katie Lynne Sapphe the Webcomic - Laura Seabrook's Webcomix - Misfile
The Mundane Circus - Pastel Defender Heliotrope - Replica Saga - Second Stage
Tasha's World - Tessflynn.Net - That was Zen, This is Tao - Three Random Words
Triquetra Cats - Venus Envy - Venus Ascending - A Wish for Wings & Closetspace
Wizzy Wig