Marriage status after transition

[annabellerings.livejournal.com]

I'm currently legally married to a cis woman, but I just sent in my paperwork to change my gender marker on my driver's license. Pretty soon Washington state will properly recognize me as female. So now I'm full of questions about what will happen to my married status.

But first, a bit more background: we were married 5 years ago in Illinois, years before I accepted my trans status and started transitioning. We're both legal Washington state residents. I have been on hormones for about 4 months now, and have been living full time (including work and everything) for about a month. I've basically completed everything but surgery. Neither Illinois nor Washington recognizes same-sex marriage, even if they were performed out-of-state (I think), however Washington at least has a very strong domestic partnership law.

If Washington recognizes me as female (assuming they would after changing that letter on my license), will I no longer be married in the eyes of the state? If so, I guess we should register as a domestic partnership? And then there's the federal level. Would changing my gender marker with SSA mean we can no longer file joint income tax? Does anyone have any experience in this area?

I'm going to meet with a lawyer to try and get some answers, but I'm worried this is such a gray area that there aren't any.

Telling the parents...

[scissorplay.livejournal.com]

I posted here previously with concerns about coming out at school, graduation, and a "friend" that was a little hesitant to switch names with me as I started my transition. Some people asked me to keep them updated, and I will once my summer break begins in a few weeks, but until then I have another question regarding coming out, this time to my parents. I want to do it before the end of this year, but I'm extremely worried about something...

( I just don't feel safe at all. )

So basically I'm wondering if anyone has any opinions on what I could or should do, or if I shouldn't worry at all and just do it. Would it be better to take my chances and tell them face-to-face, or send a letter?