trans | Dec. 6th, 2012

It seemed like forever to get to the point of HRT and now I’m 7 weeks in. Wow, thats gone by quick but now I’m a little discouraged by the lack of any change. I know that it takes years for things to change, for the pills to do their job but I’m almost at a solid 2 months and I’ve seen NO changes.

I read about others transitions (I know, everyone is different, everyone has a different experience) but some people have some minor to pretty good effects into a couple months. I’ve seen or felt no change. The skin on my face and facial hair growth changed in the first week. Growth slowed and my face felt “softer”. Thats it.

I’ve experienced no mental changes (and I’m kinda moody/depressive/angry most of the time). I expected mood swings, crying, something… if anything I seem more calm but I think that I’m just lost, I’ve given up caring about anything..

I’ve seen no physical changes either. Nothing in my face, nothing in my body. I had hoped that the HRT would help me gain weight which is my other concern.. I’m underweight to begin with (6’-3”, 150 lbs) but then a few months ago I started loosing weight. At first I didn’t think much of it. It got rid of the little bump on my belly but then it kept going.. By the first week of HRT I had come down to 138 lbs!

I’ve been trying to gain it back. I’m not trying to loose it! I eat healthy, I eat three full meals and snacks and everything. Since the HRT, I wanted to boost any “fat redistribution” so I’ve been eating more but I’m not gaining and I’m struggling to keep at 143 lbs. I cant seem to get back to the 150 I was maybe six months ago and I’m getting concerned.

The weird part is that I’m struggling to maintain my weight (even though it’s lower than it should be) but I’m loosing mass. I had a little butt and now it’s really flat, my forearms are getting really thin, my face is looking stressed. I dont know whats happening.

I’m really discouraged by all of this. I have another month+ till I go back to the doctor for my 3 month checkup and blood-work. I’m so concerned that HRT will do nothing for me.. If this continues by month 6, I may consider stopping and then I have no idea what my life will really mean.