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transSo good news, and bad news. Good news: I can finally live alone in something like 2-5 months from now. No more living with my parents whose constant presence, and surveillance has been making me unable to transition at all for countless years now... It's the only place I can afford to live, I am disabled. I don't have much choice about where I live. For the first time in years, I'll be able to at least interact over the internet without eavesdropping, dress however I want in my own home /etc/.
The bad news is... Both my parents are very transphobic especially my mom. She's a radical fundamentalist Christian, and she's said countless things that are homophobic or transphobic. My own father also said that my dream is his nightmare when it comes to medical transition, so I know he can't be reasoned with... My mother is also my payee unfortunately.
So with all that taken into context, it would appear, I only have one choice to manage this all- medically transition, without socially transitioning. It's the only solution I can come up with, to balance between treating my physical dysphoria which by the way is almost exclusively physical, with the very... Delicate situation my life is in, money wise. It's the only compromise I can think of, that won't make me extremely dysphoric, and also won't deprive me of basic needs.
And yes I'm aware... That estrogenizing my body, and getting rid of testosterone markers on it, while still socially remaining male could result in me encountering some pretty ugly prejudice, especially considering I've already been frequently assumed to be a cis woman even without HRT. Probably because of me having a very gracile build, not having big muscles, having nearly waist length hair, being very short, wearing clothes that come across as gender neutral to many, and not having a very deep voice, I've already been mistreated/laughed at, when all I did was wear concealer to hide my unwanted facial hair shadow, because that was literally all it took for people to code me as female instead of male.
And I know, that HRT would make that type of mistreatment even worse, but... Frankly because of the situation I'm in, it seems there's nothing else I can do- whatever mistreatment I might face from all that, is nothing compared to the agony of no medical transition or not having my own home or whatever. So anyways... Here's my options. And my parents... And me being dependent on them/still having to literally basically be their neighbor, is, the primary reason for the whole trying to avoid social transition thing.
A. Acquire HRT/estrogen/T-Blockers without my payee/mother who will live right in a unit underneath me finding out... Is this even possible?
B. Find some political allies or something like that, willing to charge my payee with a hate crime or something akin to that, if as my payee she refuses to cooperate with allowing me medical transition.
C. Change who my payee is.
Help please?
The bad news is... Both my parents are very transphobic especially my mom. She's a radical fundamentalist Christian, and she's said countless things that are homophobic or transphobic. My own father also said that my dream is his nightmare when it comes to medical transition, so I know he can't be reasoned with... My mother is also my payee unfortunately.
So with all that taken into context, it would appear, I only have one choice to manage this all- medically transition, without socially transitioning. It's the only solution I can come up with, to balance between treating my physical dysphoria which by the way is almost exclusively physical, with the very... Delicate situation my life is in, money wise. It's the only compromise I can think of, that won't make me extremely dysphoric, and also won't deprive me of basic needs.
And yes I'm aware... That estrogenizing my body, and getting rid of testosterone markers on it, while still socially remaining male could result in me encountering some pretty ugly prejudice, especially considering I've already been frequently assumed to be a cis woman even without HRT. Probably because of me having a very gracile build, not having big muscles, having nearly waist length hair, being very short, wearing clothes that come across as gender neutral to many, and not having a very deep voice, I've already been mistreated/laughed at, when all I did was wear concealer to hide my unwanted facial hair shadow, because that was literally all it took for people to code me as female instead of male.
And I know, that HRT would make that type of mistreatment even worse, but... Frankly because of the situation I'm in, it seems there's nothing else I can do- whatever mistreatment I might face from all that, is nothing compared to the agony of no medical transition or not having my own home or whatever. So anyways... Here's my options. And my parents... And me being dependent on them/still having to literally basically be their neighbor, is, the primary reason for the whole trying to avoid social transition thing.
A. Acquire HRT/estrogen/T-Blockers without my payee/mother who will live right in a unit underneath me finding out... Is this even possible?
B. Find some political allies or something like that, willing to charge my payee with a hate crime or something akin to that, if as my payee she refuses to cooperate with allowing me medical transition.
C. Change who my payee is.
Help please?