[identity profile] danizana.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] trans
Life for me is not great anymore
I have lost contrle with myself as you can see , i
could only hold so many problems on my shoulders , now
i have so many its become unbareable that i dont want
to live anymore.

I dont know whats up with people , they say they will
be freinds and jkeep in touch but they dont... things
were fine and i had many so called things called
freinds when i was online almost 24/7 on msn messenger
, yahoo messenger ,what ever messenger and now those
people have forgotten me , they said they enjoyed me
and my company now they forget me , what the fuck ..
only 3 to 4 out of 35 people keep contact with emails
or sms(even if i have no money to reply the sms) and I
realy say Thank you very much , to those who have just
forgottent me ,gotten tierd of me and my creations
well you HAVE HURT ME VERY BADLY !!!!

Now to the local South African so called Freinds , yes
i hope you reading this right now , You all south
africans are the same , you think i am this thing ,
but when i am there visiting you are ever so nice and
sweet but when i am away you talk very bad things
behind my back !! And to my dear so called thing
"christain" yeah a fucking Christain !! so called
freind in Toti , i realy got very hurt when you said
and i can never forget it "I am so sorry i cant come
vist you because my boyfreind dows not alow me to see
other guys"now fuck you called me a guy !! You know i
am a girl that has being born with something wrong how
many times must i spell it out to you!! You even said
on the beach when i was swimming on my swimming
costume "Gee you look so much like a woman i can
hardly tell .." You know i am hurt from every bloody
Dam thing i have been carrying all these years , my
best freinds suicide, My parents hell, christain
people picking and poking me trying to judge me and
say i am heading to hell , you know i have just had
enouph ...

I had done a crappy thing for money , because i have
no money, I had recieved promises from a so called
freind in a America to help me out she said she will
give me a bit just so that i have anouph to live on,
but no soon as i could not access the yahoo messenger
she has forgotten me , I am only an after thaught and
she says I must nmot go into prostitution ?? huh!
when one gets desperate one gets desparate, i hated it
, the sex, i had to do it for money ,

I am just torn to bits inside , this emense pain
flowing from my heart ..it hurts its killing me
I hate its feeling
The only way i can do it is to kill myself and get
away from everything
Love
Danielle
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