I FEEL LIKE KILLING MYSELF!! because MOST PEOPLE IGNORED ME and UNAPRECIATED ME AND OTHER REASONS AL

[danizana.livejournal.com]

Life for me is not great anymore
I have lost contrle with myself as you can see , i
could only hold so many problems on my shoulders , now
i have so many its become unbareable that i dont want
to live anymore.

I dont know whats up with people , they say they will
be freinds and jkeep in touch but they dont... things
were fine and i had many so called things called
freinds when i was online almost 24/7 on msn messenger
, yahoo messenger ,what ever messenger and now those
people have forgotten me , they said they enjoyed me
and my company now they forget me , what the fuck ..
only 3 to 4 out of 35 people keep contact with emails
or sms(even if i have no money to reply the sms) and I
realy say Thank you very much , to those who have just
forgottent me ,gotten tierd of me and my creations
well you HAVE HURT ME VERY BADLY !!!!

Now to the local South African so called Freinds , yes
i hope you reading this right now , You all south
africans are the same , you think i am this thing ,
but when i am there visiting you are ever so nice and
sweet but when i am away you talk very bad things
behind my back !! And to my dear so called thing
"christain" yeah a fucking Christain !! so called
freind in Toti , i realy got very hurt when you said
and i can never forget it "I am so sorry i cant come
vist you because my boyfreind dows not alow me to see
other guys"now fuck you called me a guy !! You know i
am a girl that has being born with something wrong how
many times must i spell it out to you!! You even said
on the beach when i was swimming on my swimming
costume "Gee you look so much like a woman i can
hardly tell .." You know i am hurt from every bloody
Dam thing i have been carrying all these years , my
best freinds suicide, My parents hell, christain
people picking and poking me trying to judge me and
say i am heading to hell , you know i have just had
enouph ...

I had done a crappy thing for money , because i have
no money, I had recieved promises from a so called
freind in a America to help me out she said she will
give me a bit just so that i have anouph to live on,
but no soon as i could not access the yahoo messenger
she has forgotten me , I am only an after thaught and
she says I must nmot go into prostitution ?? huh!
when one gets desperate one gets desparate, i hated it
, the sex, i had to do it for money ,

I am just torn to bits inside , this emense pain
flowing from my heart ..it hurts its killing me
I hate its feeling
The only way i can do it is to kill myself and get
away from everything
Love
Danielle

(no subject)

[a-dashing-fella.livejournal.com]

So. I overslept. Got to work at 8:30.
And got hurt, of course. Slid on the slick ground spotting dogs, and slammed my left hand down a rack.
Fucking a.
So it was 30 mins keeping it in ice, then to the hospital ER for xrays.

I got checked in at 10.
-then there was the woman asking my father his sons name, and refusing to believe my bio name.
-tn waiting
- then I had xrays done
-more waiting
-flurries of nurses later, I was 'found': apparently, they were looking for me, and didnt connect the boy with the girl bio name
-found, placed in new room
-wait
-wait
-convo

nurse; sorry we thought you were a guy
me; s'all good
nurse; well. the girls and i thought you welll.....were....-pause-
me; what?
nurse; -in a rushed sentence- we thought you were a football player who got hurt.
me; -crack up-

-wait
-wait
-left forearm and arm wrapped in a sling.
-leave hospital. 4 pm.

pain.here.
but passing even when i wasnt trying was cool


p.s. fellas know any good supplements to build muscle?