Feeling lost

[travellerlost.livejournal.com]

I'm not an introspective person, and I never have been. I don't like internal searches for things, and I prefer what I can see and touch. So, quite frankly, the concept of being a different gender on the inside than the outside freaks me out and messes with my head to the point that most of the time I just ignore it becuase my life is easier that way, only not really.

So I keep trying to figure out what it is that I am seeing/feeling/accepting that is making me deny what I see in the mirror every day, knowing it's not right.

When we say we know our bilogical gender is wrong, what is it that lets us know this? What's an indication and what's just stereotyping?

(Sorry for the intrusive questions, I'm just feeling lost and more than a little depressed tonight.)