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Apr. 12th, 2004 12:27 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
savanah-mobile.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
transI don’t mean to bother you and I don’t really expect a reply to this. But if you could spare a few moments of your time, I would like to ask for some advice (if you really don’t have the time stop reading now! ^-^ )…
(a bit of background) Well, I never met my biological father. And my mother has kept a few rather unhealthy relationships with over bearing and violent boyfriends (the latest of which was the culmination of all the testosterone driven male fallacies I can think of, the perfect example of a bad father). Since about the age of 8, when my mom began her “interludes”, I’ve suppressed how I really wanted to act. And those mannerisms that remained were beaten or screamed out of me by my mom’s last boyfriend (hereby known as the infamous “Bob” to those who know me). Well, since there were strained relations between my mom over Bob (and my mom turning that knife incident I mentioned earlier around on me) I was, and am currently being, forced to see a psychologist. I am unsure whether or not it would be a good idea to tell this psychologist about this “topic”(my feeling and occasionally, in the past at least, outwardly acting more like a female trapped in this strange nightmare). Since the group of therapists is under JFS (Jewish Family Services – I myself am not Jewish, they are just the only ones to take my insurance o.o ). There are also weekly meetings which include my mom, who essentially acted the same way as your Art teacher, the nun, when I shaved my legs. She was ready to reject my for being gay and evil on the spot.
--- That's an excert from an e-mail I wrote a few hours ago. I should hope that someone might still be able to give me some advice... Meh, I'm 17 years old and I've never expressed anything remotely like this in anyway outside my own head.
Any feedback appreciated, no matter what the type... o.0
(a bit of background) Well, I never met my biological father. And my mother has kept a few rather unhealthy relationships with over bearing and violent boyfriends (the latest of which was the culmination of all the testosterone driven male fallacies I can think of, the perfect example of a bad father). Since about the age of 8, when my mom began her “interludes”, I’ve suppressed how I really wanted to act. And those mannerisms that remained were beaten or screamed out of me by my mom’s last boyfriend (hereby known as the infamous “Bob” to those who know me). Well, since there were strained relations between my mom over Bob (and my mom turning that knife incident I mentioned earlier around on me) I was, and am currently being, forced to see a psychologist. I am unsure whether or not it would be a good idea to tell this psychologist about this “topic”(my feeling and occasionally, in the past at least, outwardly acting more like a female trapped in this strange nightmare). Since the group of therapists is under JFS (Jewish Family Services – I myself am not Jewish, they are just the only ones to take my insurance o.o ). There are also weekly meetings which include my mom, who essentially acted the same way as your Art teacher, the nun, when I shaved my legs. She was ready to reject my for being gay and evil on the spot.
--- That's an excert from an e-mail I wrote a few hours ago. I should hope that someone might still be able to give me some advice... Meh, I'm 17 years old and I've never expressed anything remotely like this in anyway outside my own head.
Any feedback appreciated, no matter what the type... o.0
