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Jun. 30th, 2004 11:43 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
venusarani.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
transOk, this will probably be pretty long. I’m not someone who can say I spent my entire life feeling like I was the wrong gender. I really didn’t start feeling that way until my early 20’s (I’m now 25), when I met my current wife who was open to cross dressing and the like. And now I’ve grown to where I feel completely out of place. At work, all but one of the people I consider to be close friends are female, and I just fall into way more feminine interests and stereotypes than male ones. And when I look back on my childhood, I see a similar pattern even back then.
My original reasons for not even considering transitioning were simple, my wife didn’t support it. While she allowed (and supported) dressing, she wasn’t comfortable with the idea of me going full time. But as of a few months ago, she’s changed her mind on that and would support me. Which has left me even more confused that I would have expected.
I’m personally not too concerned with how my family would react…my dad would probably be upset at first, but would get over it…I’m not particularly close to my mom anyway, so that’s no sweat either way. And being an only child, I don’t have siblings to deal with.
Her family is another matter, however. She’s really close with her parents, and neither of them are overly open minded. I really wouldn’t like to be responsible for any big split with them, and they like me.
My future career is another point of contention. My career goal is to teach/do research within a university. I’ve been accepted to the doctoral program at one of the top schools, and most well respected, for my discipline in the nation. I was thinking that transitioning during my studies there would be ideal, so I would establish myself within the academic circles with a new identity. But whether that would even work is questionable. And I wonder what sort of problems I could have looking for a position afterwards. From what I’ve read, universities seem to be pretty liberal, open minded employers, though my field isn’t always known for that. Living in stealth would be preferred, but considering my height (around 6’3”), that might not work either. And I may make an ugly woman and not only feel out of place, but look that way as well.
My wife is the only one in my life who really knows about this…I’m really too mistrusting to really talk to any of my friends about it, so I basically keep it all bottled up. Any advice is more than welcome!
My original reasons for not even considering transitioning were simple, my wife didn’t support it. While she allowed (and supported) dressing, she wasn’t comfortable with the idea of me going full time. But as of a few months ago, she’s changed her mind on that and would support me. Which has left me even more confused that I would have expected.
I’m personally not too concerned with how my family would react…my dad would probably be upset at first, but would get over it…I’m not particularly close to my mom anyway, so that’s no sweat either way. And being an only child, I don’t have siblings to deal with.
Her family is another matter, however. She’s really close with her parents, and neither of them are overly open minded. I really wouldn’t like to be responsible for any big split with them, and they like me.
My future career is another point of contention. My career goal is to teach/do research within a university. I’ve been accepted to the doctoral program at one of the top schools, and most well respected, for my discipline in the nation. I was thinking that transitioning during my studies there would be ideal, so I would establish myself within the academic circles with a new identity. But whether that would even work is questionable. And I wonder what sort of problems I could have looking for a position afterwards. From what I’ve read, universities seem to be pretty liberal, open minded employers, though my field isn’t always known for that. Living in stealth would be preferred, but considering my height (around 6’3”), that might not work either. And I may make an ugly woman and not only feel out of place, but look that way as well.
My wife is the only one in my life who really knows about this…I’m really too mistrusting to really talk to any of my friends about it, so I basically keep it all bottled up. Any advice is more than welcome!