Sigh

[freeme81.livejournal.com]

Everything was going really well up until about 90 minutes ago. I'd had a good and promising first few days of the school year. I'd met some of my perspective students and got clearance to wear my head wraps from the school principal.

However, today during my therapy session, I was reminded that I'm going too fast. I'm not ready to send a letter to the other faculty explaining my situation nor am I ready for the ridicule and demeaning stares that will surely come along with it.

This has all left me feeling drained and afraid. I feel like a freak (so what else is new, right?) and I feel like I'll never have this weight lifted...

On the other hand, I know that I need to realize that like in the past, this feeling shall pass. I just need to take it all one day at a time and like Lisette (my wonderful therapist) pointed out, this craziness and sadness and fear will pass. Why will it pass? Because I'm fed up with living a lie and the only other option is death and that's not sure to happen any time soon (knock on wood)...

So yeah...that's all.

Take care and be well

-me-