MTF's and genderqueers/butch Mtf's interactions

[scorpionturtle.livejournal.com]

I was wondering about a post or topic of why some more traditional mtf's especially super femme ones seem to get angry about more masculine genderqueers and transwoman? I've seen my wife get treated like shit and be told she isn't a real mtf transexual even if she is post-op since he also is butch and genderqueer. why is there that hostility? shouldn't there be support for anyone who has the courage to be themselves even they don't follow the stereotypical mtf transition to femme girl. why is there this idea still present that to be trans on the mtf spectrum you must be post-op or you must want to be a girly-girl, etc?

Some of them treat my wife better when they find out she is post-op but someone of them become even more hateful when they find out that she is post-op and uses both female and male pronouns interchangably and id's as genderqueer. One nasty transwomen has told me surgury is wasted on people like my wife.

yes it's easy to say just ignore them but they are part of the bigger trans and transbdsm community that we both do educational work in and I want to understand where these thoughts and ideas come from.

there seems to be a lot more acceptance on the ftm spectrum and and with non-binary folks that you don't have to change everthing or go only in one direction to get to the right place.

any and all comment welcome.