Experiments in being other things
Apr. 23rd, 2005 10:54 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
parallelport.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
transI'd like to hear some stories about trial periods some of you have gone through in the role of your original gender after having been out as trans for a while, whether it was at the request of someone close to you or just something to help you understand yourself or perhaps convince yourself that maybe you wouldn't have to go through the stress of transition. What were the conclusions you came to at the end of these experiments, and what did you learn about yourselves?
I'm FtM and have been out and living as male (or as close to male as I can get in my current pre-everything state) for about five months. I'm thinking of doing some sort of trial for a couple of weeks in which I try to identify as female, but wear my hair, dress and bind my breasts as I do now. This trial would have to involve dating-type interactions, and I suppose I might be able to function that way as a butch lesbian, but I am not particularly attracted to women and probably can't easily change that. I actually think the idea of being a really butch straight girl is cool because it breaks social norms and all, and wonder if I could possibly end up being one. This is under the idea that being a masculine female is easier socially than being trans, so if the experiment succeeds I might be able to get by easier.
The more I think about it, the more pointless it seems. Either way I know for sure that I want to have chest surgery, and I have at least something of a desire to be physically and socially masculine. The only difference would be something as flimsy as a male or female gender identity. And pronouns, of course. They tend to matter more than anything in my current decision to identify as male (I greatly prefer "he" to "she"), and that's silly.
I'm FtM and have been out and living as male (or as close to male as I can get in my current pre-everything state) for about five months. I'm thinking of doing some sort of trial for a couple of weeks in which I try to identify as female, but wear my hair, dress and bind my breasts as I do now. This trial would have to involve dating-type interactions, and I suppose I might be able to function that way as a butch lesbian, but I am not particularly attracted to women and probably can't easily change that. I actually think the idea of being a really butch straight girl is cool because it breaks social norms and all, and wonder if I could possibly end up being one. This is under the idea that being a masculine female is easier socially than being trans, so if the experiment succeeds I might be able to get by easier.
The more I think about it, the more pointless it seems. Either way I know for sure that I want to have chest surgery, and I have at least something of a desire to be physically and socially masculine. The only difference would be something as flimsy as a male or female gender identity. And pronouns, of course. They tend to matter more than anything in my current decision to identify as male (I greatly prefer "he" to "she"), and that's silly.