The Update

[mantber.livejournal.com]

Well I thought I’d let you guys know what happened when I told my parents. Well they were very shocked. I was shocked that they were so shocked. My father was mad, and said that I should hang around boys because most of my friends where girls. He is so immature. He thinks that if you hang around someone, they “Change you” which is another homophobic stereotype myth. My mother was shocked yesterday but I think she opened up. This morning when I came downstairs we had a semi-serious talk. She read the 2 pamphlets I gave her and she asked me if I knew how hard it was going to be. She said my life would be a living hell and I told her, I know it’ll be hard, but I don’t like being a boy. Being a BOY is a living hell for me. At least as a girl I would finally be happy. My father on the other hand is angry. He took away my cell phone, took away my laptop and now there’s a password on the main comp. (I’m on it right now) So anytime I want to go on it, I have to ask him or my mother. I have a feeling my mother knows he’s over reacting. I felt really bad yesterday because I don’t understand why they are treating me as if I did something wrong. I didn’t, or did I? I thought I was just telling them what my TRUE feelings where inside. He said I was so young, I’m 15 and I’m going threw changes and that I don’t know what I want right now, and I’m confused, and I told him that He wasn’t in my position, and I can argue with him all day, but he doesn’t know how I feel. I guess I’ll give him time. Overall I think it’s good now. It’s slowly settling down. I am SOOOO happy that its off my chest now. My parents set up a meeting with a therapist today. I plan on seeing her/him (I don’t know if it’s a she or he) Monday, and hopefully this will be my first step to being the beautiful woman I truly feel inside. I’ll try to post as often as possible, but until then be safe everybody, and I hope everybody has a

great summer. Thank you so much everybody for guiding me these past weeks. You guys are truly a great bunch. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t meet some of these LJ Communities. And the friends I’ve made are 1 in a million. Who knows, the next time I come on Live Journal, I can finally be Janae.

 

Love,

Josh