trans | Self-medicating mones....need help!

Ok so my mom Absolutely refuse4s to take me to a Psycologist who can refer me to an endocrinologist so i can start transitioning, and i gotta do something fast! I am trying to talk her into letting self-medicate, but she says its too dangerous(which i know she is concerned, but that is also her way of saying no way), and i understand that there are risks involved, plus i won't be able to have my levels checked every month. But i just want to know, if any of you have been in my situation, what mones and anti-androgens did you use or recomend? I just want stuff that will have an affect but won't wreak too much havoc on my body. Also i am worried about health risks as well. My family has a history of Cancer, Heart Disease, and Diabetes, and i am what you would consider a lil overweight. I am around 5' 10", 245 lbs(give or take a few pounds), and a BMI of 35%. I have been trying to exercise and watching my carb and calorie intake. I just wanna know ur all's opinions. Thanx, Adrianna ^_^

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