brief intro/help

[pulling-focus.livejournal.com]

Hi my name is Ty, I'm 23, and I don't know what I am anymore. I created Ty as a manifestation of my male self, which I cannot be all the time, because I am biologically female and people in the world outside the Internet know me as a bio girl who dresses somewhat like a little boy. I have started playing again with the possibility of expanding upon Ty as an identity and adapting him more but I am afraid. I do not want to transition to be completely male but I know that I do not feel 100% female either and things have never felt right unless I'm at a moment where I can just kinda drift in the middle. I worry immensely about what other people will think, especially my family and my co-workers. I feel like I am too old to go through this stuff but a little part of me wishes I could go through life as a male. PLEASE HELP ME! I hit these points in my life where I start thinking about this stuff and I always convince myself it is a phase but it has happened so many times. I feel trapped.