[identity profile] tigerwiccan.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] trans
I was born a male. and seemed to be cool with it for most of my life, but looking back I did have alot of female qualities. Like I was NEVER good at sports, preferred playing with dolls and plushies to cowboys and indians, and was overall alot more "passive" in my dealings with other kids. That and I always hung out with the girls in the class at a time when most boys would rather die. ;P

I never experimented with dressing as a girl, though, mostly due to my naivite about such things and the lack of opportunity. Then in high school, I never really thought about gender issues at all. I was kind of asexual at that point. More interested in computer games and role playing than much else.

Than I joined the Navy, and I spent enough energy just trying to get along with everyone and do my job on the ship to think about gender issues. Although I did meet some gay and bisexual men while in the Navy, and one of them kind of opened me up to by own bisexuality.

Then when I got out of the Navy is when I fully realized that I was bisexual. I still identified as completely male, though, until I was reading about transsexuality (I forget what led me to it) and thought "wow, that's me in alot of ways." I kind of experimented with it by deeloping a female fursona, and I felt almost more real as her than I did as myself. That's when I went through a serious trans period, my "second puberty" if you will, where I shaved off all my body hair and started to wear women's clothes around the house, and experimented with herbal hormones, although not long enough to notice any real effect.

I kind of did too much at once though, probably because I was so overwhelmed with wanting to change myself right there and then, that I just got burnt out with it and stopped altogether. I let my body hair grow back out and I put my women's clothes in a drawer, where they sat for a long time. I even switched to a male fursona, and have used that one ever since.

It wasn't until I met my fiance, who was very similar to me, that I have wanted to again explore the part of myself that cannot be seen when I go to work or out to the store. I, more than ever now, want to see the girl inside me come out and shine. And now I'm taking it a bit slower, doing a little here and a little there, and it's not all of my identity at the moment. So you could say I'm a "part time gal". Sometimes I'm Mike, and sometimes I'm Michelle, and I think it's going to be that way for quite some time. If I had my preference, though, I'd be Michelle ALOT more often than I am forced to be Mike.

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