[identity profile] sahara29.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] trans
Do you think that a non-transgendered or genderqueer person can really understand the experiences and feelings that you do?

I wonder. I hope this is true, not only for myself but simply because the support system (doctors, therapists, political allies, etc.) for trans people, especially transitioning ones, is and will probably always be traditionally gendered. Is empathy and sympathy enough for allies to achieve understanding, or is it something you have to feel for yourself?

An excuse that a lot of people use (not just for understanding gender) is "Well, I'm not in x group so I could never really understand, so I'm not going to try." This is compounded when some members of x community say, "You can't ever really know what it's like to be Korean/gay/lower class/living with cancer/from a Catholic family/etc., so don't even bother trying to talk about anything important to my existence like you know about it." This sort of attitude underscores the tension between whites and blacks, for example.

Is it true, though? Is it even worth it for me to attempt to REALLY "get" how trans and genderqueer people feel? Is distant sympathy the closest I can get?

Somehow I doubt it. Even though there are milestones to living a comfortably gendered life common to many people, it isn't as though one person can really know the experience of another person, trans or not. Or is that my wishful thinking, and you really do have a connection with each other more than you ever would with someone like me?

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