trans | update--ish

Went to the doc on teusday. My liver funciton is normal and electrolites as well..whatever that means =0) My doctor is great, did i mention that?! he taught me the self-breast exam, and asked tons of questions about my well-being, physically, mentally and emotionally. He comes across as agent who really cares about people (me) and i suppose i like that. I should mention, to those who dont knw, my doc is a family doc. he has some limeted expirience with girls in the trans community and decided to take me on b/c the local endo wasn't excepting patients.

so my medications went up. i'm now on 200mg of spiro, 100mg twice daily, ummm taking 1.25 mg of premerin 2wice daily and 10mg of progesterone. After 3-6 months of this i'm going in for another viset (my discretion), check up and start on the shot.

I've also lost weight. They had me at 189 baby! oh yeah! was up at 212 (and higher). For those in my "other" group, i'm tryin to get around to taking new pics...i might fidget with that tonight...but maybe not =0) it is almost 10pm and i do wanna go to bed. But i might ahve time tomarrow since our young(adult)trans group probably wont be meeting. ...will alos give me time to clean my room! LOL

anyway, I could go on about insecurites and fears and such, (that is going to be "the topic" for our next meeting, whenever it happens), but I'm in a "i dont wanna bother you" mode, i feel like i've been bitching and whining alot latly ::grins:: i know i know, i'm allowed, and i suppose it's needed. questions are good (if frustrating).

I also went ot my lasor tech on teusday. She has a new lasor...my second treatment with it...UG..it hurst like a bitch! OMG! owie! hopefully that means it's workin right? I wish i knew what the specs were for the machine so i could put 'em up here, maybe someone else could share of their expirince with it. The other lasor just kinda left you feelin hot...i mean at spots it hurt, but this one...you feel it going into the skin..course it's abit more "high tech" then the other lasor too. The lasor tech is going to come ot the sunday night tg group (through the gay and lesbian community center of the ozarks) at somepoint...though i think it'll be a moot point since two of our members are leaving! ahh well, we're happy for them! Congrats!

okay. i've babbled enough for a bit i suppose. =)) yay for me!...though one more thought...the whole journey is to be happy, sometimes it's easy to forget that when faced with feelings and thoughts that leave me wondering if i am a freak. It links itself so smoothly with my depression b/c then i'll start feeling that i'm not worthy of happiness, as if by simply existing i have somehow offended fate and destiny. But we all desearve happiness, and who am I to deny myself that which i would never think of denying someone else? Happiness, a rather lofty undefined goal, but it's one I strive twords...if slowly

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