Introduction
Sep. 22nd, 2006 10:52 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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transI've been lurking for quite a while now, I thought maybe I should offer an introduction before I post anything else. I'm a bit nervous about posting but here goes.
My name is Hazel, I just turned 24 last month. I'm mtf, pre-op. I've been on hrt off and on for the last 5 years when I could afford it, and continuously on for the past 14 months. I live in Florida.
I first had issues with my birth gender when I was about 11, I felt like I was playing a role that my parents and other people expected me to, I used to dress in my sisters clothes and call myself melissa from time to time when I was very young. It sounds cliche but it felt right to me, mom and dad had a good laugh about it.
I eventually stopped, time went on I didn't really think anything of it until around 8th grade when puberty began to kick in, I was a bit of a late bloomer.. Anyway, I came out to my mother one day as she was about to drop me off at highschool, I didn't know what to tell her, I just said "mom..there was something I really wanted to talk with you about, some things have been bothering me for a few years now.." I couldn't really bring myself to outright tell her..I started crying and she laughed, said "What's wrong? Are you a woman trapped in a man's body?" I nodded and she just kind of gasped and went quiet, then drove me home rather than making me go to school with tears all over my face and snot hanging out of my nose. I told her more about my feelings and thoughts after we got home, she held me for a long time, I cried more.
I ended up dropping out of school and getting into a home school program through the mail, mom found a psychiatrist for me to see, and they put me on anti-depressants because I was having panic attacks. My psychiatrist wasn't experienced in helping people with gender dysphoria, so our sessions would just be me telling her why I felt the way I did, week after week, I got sick of not really getting anywhere from the sessions, finally insurance ran out, and I stopped seeing her. I pleaded with my mom to help me get on hrt, but she wouldn't accept that and sent me back to live with my dad, both of my parents were now in denial and figured it was just a phase that I was going through. I became a shut-in and stopped caring about things.
Anyway, I grew out of my depression and moved across the country. I'm now living with a friend, I've come out to my few friends and other family members, I have a steady job and am diying hrt until my insurance coverage begins and I find a doc. I'm part-time, I still present myself as male at my workplace and in public, in most situations.
Anyway, that's a bit of my background..I appreciate being able to read about other guys and gals experiences. It's nice to not feel alone.
Hello and thanks. :p
My name is Hazel, I just turned 24 last month. I'm mtf, pre-op. I've been on hrt off and on for the last 5 years when I could afford it, and continuously on for the past 14 months. I live in Florida.
I first had issues with my birth gender when I was about 11, I felt like I was playing a role that my parents and other people expected me to, I used to dress in my sisters clothes and call myself melissa from time to time when I was very young. It sounds cliche but it felt right to me, mom and dad had a good laugh about it.
I eventually stopped, time went on I didn't really think anything of it until around 8th grade when puberty began to kick in, I was a bit of a late bloomer.. Anyway, I came out to my mother one day as she was about to drop me off at highschool, I didn't know what to tell her, I just said "mom..there was something I really wanted to talk with you about, some things have been bothering me for a few years now.." I couldn't really bring myself to outright tell her..I started crying and she laughed, said "What's wrong? Are you a woman trapped in a man's body?" I nodded and she just kind of gasped and went quiet, then drove me home rather than making me go to school with tears all over my face and snot hanging out of my nose. I told her more about my feelings and thoughts after we got home, she held me for a long time, I cried more.
I ended up dropping out of school and getting into a home school program through the mail, mom found a psychiatrist for me to see, and they put me on anti-depressants because I was having panic attacks. My psychiatrist wasn't experienced in helping people with gender dysphoria, so our sessions would just be me telling her why I felt the way I did, week after week, I got sick of not really getting anywhere from the sessions, finally insurance ran out, and I stopped seeing her. I pleaded with my mom to help me get on hrt, but she wouldn't accept that and sent me back to live with my dad, both of my parents were now in denial and figured it was just a phase that I was going through. I became a shut-in and stopped caring about things.
Anyway, I grew out of my depression and moved across the country. I'm now living with a friend, I've come out to my few friends and other family members, I have a steady job and am diying hrt until my insurance coverage begins and I find a doc. I'm part-time, I still present myself as male at my workplace and in public, in most situations.
Anyway, that's a bit of my background..I appreciate being able to read about other guys and gals experiences. It's nice to not feel alone.
Hello and thanks. :p
