(no subject)

[foreverraining9.livejournal.com]

Haven't written in a while....
Long story short: People suck.
I got a crush on this guy named J.D., he's a jahova's witness. Probably the most stupid thing I could ever do.
However, he was different, he was really nice, he was intelligent, he was tall and thin with black hair and really pretty blue eyes.
I told him I liked him a long time ago and shortly afterward he started to avoid me. I assumed that this would happen.
Recently, however, he started to show up everywhere and he hit on me a lot. One day, I ditched psychology class to go see him in the peer counseling office (he's a peer counselor).
He asked me out and I said yes but told him that I am trans and asked if that would be a problem to him. He said no. I was so ecstatic and shocked, I could not believe that a jahova's witness would not have a problem with dating a transsexual. I even joked around with my friends, saying that I had "converted" him.
The next day, I talked to him on the phone and because I still did not fully believe that a jahova's witness would be just fine with dating a transsexual, I said, "So, if I were to go through surgery to become physically male, would you still like me?"
There was a brief pause and then: "Well, uh, I'd always like you... as a friend of course."
I wanted to wring his fucking neck.
"I'm sorry, that's not what you wanted to hear, was it?"
"Whatever, I'm used to it. I'm going to go. Bye."
This happens every time. Every god damn time.
I give up. Fuck it. I give up on guys. I give up on girls. I'll be a hermit for the rest of my life.