On Passing
Dec. 20th, 2006 11:37 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
lisbethk24.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
transLong ago I learned that passing is a chimera. You simply can't know whether you pass or not. What are you going to do? Walk up to people at random and say, "Do I pass?" You certainly won't after you say that. Whether you pass or not, most of the time it simply doesn't matter. If people leave you alone and treat you with a little dignity and respect it really doen't matter what they think of you.
It's a whole lot easier to know that you didn't pass. All you have to do is hear the word "sir" to know. But I think we get over critical in our listening. How many times has someone said "maam" to you and you thought they said "man?" About the only times you can objectly know you passed is when you are on the edge of passing and you pass to one person and not another.
It's like the time I was checking out in a supermarket. I was bagging up and I heard the woman teller from the next isle talking in a low voice to the teller in my isle. He said something, and she blurted out, "You mean you didn't notice?!" Or the occasions when someone has called me "sir" and immediately appoligized for getting my gender wrong.
Once you're too far past that line you don't get those clues anymore. Then you don't know unless you tell someone what you are, and they say, "I would never have guessed." But that's not exactly a productive way of going about passing.
I ain't no raving beauty. But I'd rather be an ugly woman, or even a freak, than a handsome man. Even so it would be nice to have one person in the world who thinks I'm beautiful. I think every girl wants that. But you don't have to pass to be beautiful.
It's a whole lot easier to know that you didn't pass. All you have to do is hear the word "sir" to know. But I think we get over critical in our listening. How many times has someone said "maam" to you and you thought they said "man?" About the only times you can objectly know you passed is when you are on the edge of passing and you pass to one person and not another.
It's like the time I was checking out in a supermarket. I was bagging up and I heard the woman teller from the next isle talking in a low voice to the teller in my isle. He said something, and she blurted out, "You mean you didn't notice?!" Or the occasions when someone has called me "sir" and immediately appoligized for getting my gender wrong.
Once you're too far past that line you don't get those clues anymore. Then you don't know unless you tell someone what you are, and they say, "I would never have guessed." But that's not exactly a productive way of going about passing.
I ain't no raving beauty. But I'd rather be an ugly woman, or even a freak, than a handsome man. Even so it would be nice to have one person in the world who thinks I'm beautiful. I think every girl wants that. But you don't have to pass to be beautiful.