Bringing up mental illness to others
Mar. 20th, 2009 10:35 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
dear-kallisti.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
transThis is only partially related to anything transgender, but it is still slightly related and can't post it anywhere else, so please don't flame me.
Quick background: FtM in my mid-to-late teens, had three therapists in my lifetime and been in therapy for the past four years, one institutionalization for attempted suicide at age twelve and have essentially been in emotional turmoil since that age. I've now been out and transitioning for the past three years, as well as on testosterone for going on a year-and-a-half; happy as a male, absolutely solid with my identity as a transsexual male, excessively pleased with my current life situation and surroundings.
The issue is this: happy though I am with my life, I am still stuck in emotional turmoil and, after a lot of research, am more than fairly certain that what I'm dealing with is Borderline Personality Disorder [BPD]. It isn't enough to just say it; I have a great group of friends and a wonderful partner, and when I am going through periods of what I call 'emotional insanity' I tend to take things out on them. It's making me miserable. I am desperate for help; my inability to control my emotions is slowly dragging me down.
The problem is this: I am aware of the fact that a part of BPD is an instability in identity. I have struggled with that issue for a long time; I have continuously changed beliefs, values, religions, sexual orientation, etc. One issue that I have never wavered in is my gender identity, I am transsexual and I'm sticking to that-- it is entirely unrelated to my possible BPD. However, my fear is that if I bring this up to my therapist, or my family, or anyone who I discuss this with, they will automatically assume that this invalidates my gender identity. I also haven't been entirely open about my problems with my therapist who I have been seeing for seven months now; if I spring this on her now I'm afraid she'll think its a trap and won't offer me any help, in fact there is a possibility that she would refuse to even consider diagnosing me because of my age. I feel like people already see my transsexual status as an 'issue' and if I bring any other issues to the table I'll be marked crazy and a lost-cause. How can I tackfully approach this issue with my therapist? And others?
Thanks much,
-Lucas
Quick background: FtM in my mid-to-late teens, had three therapists in my lifetime and been in therapy for the past four years, one institutionalization for attempted suicide at age twelve and have essentially been in emotional turmoil since that age. I've now been out and transitioning for the past three years, as well as on testosterone for going on a year-and-a-half; happy as a male, absolutely solid with my identity as a transsexual male, excessively pleased with my current life situation and surroundings.
The issue is this: happy though I am with my life, I am still stuck in emotional turmoil and, after a lot of research, am more than fairly certain that what I'm dealing with is Borderline Personality Disorder [BPD]. It isn't enough to just say it; I have a great group of friends and a wonderful partner, and when I am going through periods of what I call 'emotional insanity' I tend to take things out on them. It's making me miserable. I am desperate for help; my inability to control my emotions is slowly dragging me down.
The problem is this: I am aware of the fact that a part of BPD is an instability in identity. I have struggled with that issue for a long time; I have continuously changed beliefs, values, religions, sexual orientation, etc. One issue that I have never wavered in is my gender identity, I am transsexual and I'm sticking to that-- it is entirely unrelated to my possible BPD. However, my fear is that if I bring this up to my therapist, or my family, or anyone who I discuss this with, they will automatically assume that this invalidates my gender identity. I also haven't been entirely open about my problems with my therapist who I have been seeing for seven months now; if I spring this on her now I'm afraid she'll think its a trap and won't offer me any help, in fact there is a possibility that she would refuse to even consider diagnosing me because of my age. I feel like people already see my transsexual status as an 'issue' and if I bring any other issues to the table I'll be marked crazy and a lost-cause. How can I tackfully approach this issue with my therapist? And others?
Thanks much,
-Lucas
