Breastform Rage!

[trailrat.livejournal.com]

OK, I need to get this off my chest (if you'll pardon the pun) because it's bothering me.

Let's start with a little back story. I've pretty much been wearing my breastforms everyday for the past 8-9 months. There has been the odd exceptions when I haven't worn them and I have felt incomplete.

Well tonight I was getting ready to go out and as you do I was looking in the mirror when all of a sudden, out of no where I felt repulsed by them. At that moment I felt like I despised them for what they are and what they represent. I felt anger and hate. I had to get them off me, I think I even threw one across the room (lucky those things are pretty sturdy). I cried, oh I definitely cried. I almost cancelled my plans for the evening but I had made promises and I hate backing down on a promise.

So I went out without them and all night I have felt uncomfortable in my own skin. Right now I feel upset and slightly depressed. Right now I'm not wearing them but I can't explain why I don't want to wear them.

I feel so confused and unsure. Unsure what any of it means. Once again I'm doubting who I am or what I am!

I don't know if this makes any sense.