Breastform Rage!

[trailrat.livejournal.com]

OK, I need to get this off my chest (if you'll pardon the pun) because it's bothering me.

Let's start with a little back story. I've pretty much been wearing my breastforms everyday for the past 8-9 months. There has been the odd exceptions when I haven't worn them and I have felt incomplete.

Well tonight I was getting ready to go out and as you do I was looking in the mirror when all of a sudden, out of no where I felt repulsed by them. At that moment I felt like I despised them for what they are and what they represent. I felt anger and hate. I had to get them off me, I think I even threw one across the room (lucky those things are pretty sturdy). I cried, oh I definitely cried. I almost cancelled my plans for the evening but I had made promises and I hate backing down on a promise.

So I went out without them and all night I have felt uncomfortable in my own skin. Right now I feel upset and slightly depressed. Right now I'm not wearing them but I can't explain why I don't want to wear them.

I feel so confused and unsure. Unsure what any of it means. Once again I'm doubting who I am or what I am!

I don't know if this makes any sense.

Looking for advice on my relationship

[kristalin.livejournal.com]

** crossposted to partners_of_tg

Hello all,

I'm in desperate need of some advice from partners out there as well as anyone else with thoughts on the matter. I'm a MTF transperson, and my partner/wife of over 8 years informed me a few months ago she wanted to leave me, and this whole thing has caught me off guard, as I wasn't really aware things had gotten that bad.

( Some Back Story and Details )

Apologies for this massive yarn, but I need advice from any partners out there or anyone who has been through something even remotely similar. Am I just setting myself up for more heartbreak? Should I try to let go? I love her more than anything, my GID never made me suicidal, but this stuff has. I know the majority of marriages in our community don't survive transition, but I guess I had foolishly assumed that since I told her before the 1st date that I could buck the trend. A part of me feels lied to, and betrayed.

Any input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Christine