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sinpar.livejournal.comOccasionally other people find them. Lifted from the journal of ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
andrewducker, this article on Gendered Brains. Thought I'd share it here.
andrewducker, this article on Gendered Brains. Thought I'd share it here.Jan. 30th, 2005
sinpar.livejournal.comLooking Back
Jan. 30th, 2005 01:25 pmjaquiregina.livejournal.comAll this talk of labels and exclusion brings to mind my own experience when I first made friends in the transgendered community. I had been a deeply closeted, self described crossdresser for as long as I can remember. Although I had a deep seated dream of being a woman, I felt so much shame and guilt over the issue of my gender that I had decided I couldn't be a "true transsexual". I could not even imagine ever transitioning. I watched some of the people I met transition, and then go on for surgery. As much as I envied them their happiness, unable to face my own shame, I resigned myself to a life of misery trying to pretend I was a man.
Even in my first on line contacts, I noticed a clear hierarchy. The smallest, most beautiful, most feminine post-ops were at the apex, then came not so passable post-ops, then pre-ops, then non-ops, then the social crossdresser, almost last the fetishistic transvestite, and lowest of the low, the tranny chaser. I now recognize that the distinction between crossdresser and transvestite was ridiculous, as both words have the same exact meaning. I could clearly see though, they were used differently to exclude those who weren't liked. The hierarchy was never clearly stated, but it was obvious to anyone who paid attention to the dynamics of the conversations.
There is also the issue of autogynephilia. When I first heard this term, it was applied to all who sought transition and surgery at a later age. It said that they were not true transsexuals like those who transitioned young. Older transsexuals suffered from paraphilia, a deviant sexual behavior. In other words, if you didn't transition before your early twenties, you were just a pervert. At that time I was in horror at this description of myself, and it increased my shame and my certainty that I was not a transsexual. Now that I have opened my social horizons and met other people who would happily accept this label, I would not be as put off by it, but at the time it was overwhelming to me.
When I was able to meet and form intimate friendships with some of these transsexual women in the flesh, I often heard that I could not be a crossdresser, I was a "true transsexual". It was always a certainty, and expressed with much love and admiration. My overwhelming shame would not allow me to accept this label, and I soon found a way to understand their enthusiastic support and why I could not accept it. I decided that they must be still insecure in their own decision to transition or have surgery. By telling me that because I was honest, intelligent, and open, I must also be a true transsexual, they were only trying to validate their own status. That rationalization kept me from facing myself for years, content to stay miserable with no real hope of happiness.
I regret that there is little unity across the wide spectrum of so-called "queer" culture. When the whole of the LGBTQQ ( LGBTQQ is an acronym for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer and Questioning) community at least sees all that we have in common, perhaps we will all accept that only by uniting across these false barriers in this community, and joining liberal and progressive groups in pressing for change, will we all find the public acceptance of our human rights, and the beginning of the end of our isolation and disenfranchisement.
Even in my first on line contacts, I noticed a clear hierarchy. The smallest, most beautiful, most feminine post-ops were at the apex, then came not so passable post-ops, then pre-ops, then non-ops, then the social crossdresser, almost last the fetishistic transvestite, and lowest of the low, the tranny chaser. I now recognize that the distinction between crossdresser and transvestite was ridiculous, as both words have the same exact meaning. I could clearly see though, they were used differently to exclude those who weren't liked. The hierarchy was never clearly stated, but it was obvious to anyone who paid attention to the dynamics of the conversations.
There is also the issue of autogynephilia. When I first heard this term, it was applied to all who sought transition and surgery at a later age. It said that they were not true transsexuals like those who transitioned young. Older transsexuals suffered from paraphilia, a deviant sexual behavior. In other words, if you didn't transition before your early twenties, you were just a pervert. At that time I was in horror at this description of myself, and it increased my shame and my certainty that I was not a transsexual. Now that I have opened my social horizons and met other people who would happily accept this label, I would not be as put off by it, but at the time it was overwhelming to me.
When I was able to meet and form intimate friendships with some of these transsexual women in the flesh, I often heard that I could not be a crossdresser, I was a "true transsexual". It was always a certainty, and expressed with much love and admiration. My overwhelming shame would not allow me to accept this label, and I soon found a way to understand their enthusiastic support and why I could not accept it. I decided that they must be still insecure in their own decision to transition or have surgery. By telling me that because I was honest, intelligent, and open, I must also be a true transsexual, they were only trying to validate their own status. That rationalization kept me from facing myself for years, content to stay miserable with no real hope of happiness.
I regret that there is little unity across the wide spectrum of so-called "queer" culture. When the whole of the LGBTQQ ( LGBTQQ is an acronym for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer and Questioning) community at least sees all that we have in common, perhaps we will all accept that only by uniting across these false barriers in this community, and joining liberal and progressive groups in pressing for change, will we all find the public acceptance of our human rights, and the beginning of the end of our isolation and disenfranchisement.
I am not trans.
Jan. 30th, 2005 03:51 pmfoxxygirltamara.livejournal.comEDIT: My friend asked me to remove all direct references to her as she felt I was misrepreseting her opinions. This was emphatically not an attack on her. I simply used her comments as examples of certain sentiments in the trans community. My sincere apologies.
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I wrote this entry in my journal that will be relevant here, because of the arguments and infighting that have been going on. I originally wrote it to go here but I decided to post it to my personal journal. Now I am posting it here because, well, everyone else is speaking up :-)
( I am not trans. )
---
I wrote this entry in my journal that will be relevant here, because of the arguments and infighting that have been going on. I originally wrote it to go here but I decided to post it to my personal journal. Now I am posting it here because, well, everyone else is speaking up :-)
( I am not trans. )
