gentleman without a loaded gun

[justaboyinside.livejournal.com]

I've been a member of this community for a while and this is my first post. It's a poem that I wrote in August and I was thinking about this subject today. I'm a FTM and this is the biggest problem I'm having with my change.


Some people just don't understand
What it really takes to be a man
They cannot comprehend the gift they hold
That will not run out even when they're old
How selfish can they be squandering what God gave
Running around like someone already saved
And here I stand dreaming of a son
Ready and willing but without a loaded gun
Wishing my life could be like theirs
All the capability but not so unaware

I will never be able to share such a treasure
I can never make a child out of one night of pleasure
But God knows if I had the choice
I would be a man and raise my voice
To try and say "No" and keep a clear head
Make sure I'm well protected before I jump into bed
Save my gift for when the time is right
And not come to her because I was horny that night
And even if an accident should happen
I would be a man and take responsibility for my actions

I am not a man I cannot change me
But I am more of a man then they ever will be
So when they say I'm lucky not having to worry
They better think again they're mistaken, I'm sorry
Cause when the time comes we are ready for a son
I stand here still The gentleman without a loaded gun.

Make 1

[velvetlament.livejournal.com]

Do you think Premarin and Spiro will show up on a drug test? I'm debating as to whether or not to include it as one of the medications I'm taking for this physical I have to take for work. It's a hospital job so I think they may be thorough.

Why can't cisgendered people understand us?

[auntysarah.livejournal.com]

Something I've noticed since I started my transition. Lots of people have said that they respect and support me (yay!), but they don't come close to understanding.

Initially, I thought that it should be easy to explain, just by doing the following thought experiment:

Imagine that tomorrow morning you wake up in the body of the opposite sex. You have all the secondary sex characteristics of that sex, the voice, physical strength, etc. etc.. Everyone treats you as though you are that sex, and if you continue with the mannerisms and behaviour associated with your original sex, you will be ridiculed or even attacked for it.

However, you feel exactly the same as you do now. All that's different is your body, and the way people react to you.

Now granted, someone performing this thought experiment won't have the "benefit" of our experience of years and years pretending (probably badly) to fit in with their physical sex, but I still think it should give most cisgendered people a reasonable idea of how we feel.

But almost to a person, they simply don't get it, at all. It seems that they can't perform the above thought experiment.

Someone's missing something, and I suspect it's partially me and partially the people I've tried to explain it to.

Any thoughts?

Walking I can do, but...

[pandagenma.livejournal.com]

X-posted to transgeek.

It’s kind of hard not to look a little flail-y when playing DDR. I used to play constantly, but stopped around mid-summer when I was starting to look more female. Tonight, I played for the first time since going full time as a girl. Besides the fact that I was rusty, something that really hindered my performance was being self-conscious that my movements could be boyish. Normally I don’t care if I am clocked, but this arcade has the “Family” label on it, and I’d rather avoid harassment if possible. My question to the other DDR/ITG players out there is: how do you go about balancing yourself/moving your body to play DDR without getting outed? I guess that’s a hard question to answer in writing, but still. For the record, I play flat foot, minimalist style. Anyone?