gentleman without a loaded gun

[justaboyinside.livejournal.com]

I've been a member of this community for a while and this is my first post. It's a poem that I wrote in August and I was thinking about this subject today. I'm a FTM and this is the biggest problem I'm having with my change.


Some people just don't understand
What it really takes to be a man
They cannot comprehend the gift they hold
That will not run out even when they're old
How selfish can they be squandering what God gave
Running around like someone already saved
And here I stand dreaming of a son
Ready and willing but without a loaded gun
Wishing my life could be like theirs
All the capability but not so unaware

I will never be able to share such a treasure
I can never make a child out of one night of pleasure
But God knows if I had the choice
I would be a man and raise my voice
To try and say "No" and keep a clear head
Make sure I'm well protected before I jump into bed
Save my gift for when the time is right
And not come to her because I was horny that night
And even if an accident should happen
I would be a man and take responsibility for my actions

I am not a man I cannot change me
But I am more of a man then they ever will be
So when they say I'm lucky not having to worry
They better think again they're mistaken, I'm sorry
Cause when the time comes we are ready for a son
I stand here still The gentleman without a loaded gun.