an email

[faeriedebutante.livejournal.com]

Wednesday I was minding my own business and doing dishes when my dad came in and started screaming at my brother about some coolant thing he left somewhere sometime or something, then turns to me and out of the blue starts screaming about something that happened 2 days before, "AND YOU! WHEN I CALL 'GIRLS!' DON'T ANSWER!! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR VOICE! IT MAKES ME SICK! AND STAY THE HELL OUT OF MY BATHROOM! YOU'RE SCRATCHING UP THE TOILET SEAT!" and my mom was standing right there and didn't say anything. They always share the same opinion, and usually it's her who states it, but they seem quite unified as far as horrible parenting goes.

so I decided to spare their stomachs and not speak to them anymore, but felt the need to let them know what's going on this weekend and what's been happening, so I sent my mom an email:

( read more )

she read it tonight and had yet to respond

The post before the pics.....

[dale62676.livejournal.com]

This post is nothing more than pure boredom on a Friday night.

Well, I've been feeling so melancholy lately, so much remorse for the life that I used to live and what a waste it was. Waste in terms of not fully living, not being true to myself and letting fear dictate my life. I did some amazing things and met some amazing people along the way, but compared to my life now, it seems inconceivable to me now that I used to be a 'boy'.

Everyone struggles through life trying to figure out who they are. For some it is an easier challenge, like the child who knows at a young age what they are destined to do with their lives, and makes plans and sets goals to those ends. There are those who spend their whole lives in search of the answer, either not being sure there is one or frightened by the difficulty of life and their place in it. But as everyone must struggle to find out who they are, people with gender identity dysphoria must first deal with a more fundamental question of identity that most others take for granted, and that is WHAT they are. I have come to find out that (for me, at least) it is impossible to fully achieve an idea of who you are if you are struggling with what you are.

And now a few months into living fulltime as a woman, I'm just becoming aware of how much I haven't fully realized how greatly the process of gender transition has significantly changed me. I feel that it took me my whole life up until this point to finally figure out what I am. I am a woman. That is WHAT I am. But WHO am I? Now that I've got the WHAT part figured out, I'm starting to slowly gain a sense of WHO I am.

And so, as I'm looking forward, I can't help but look back of course. Many trans people would not want their 'before' pics floating around, but I don't care. I am always astonished by the physical change that is gender transition. So, if you've got the bandwidth, here are some of my before and after pics...

X-posted from my journal dale62676

Before and After pics

[dale62676.livejournal.com]

( Dale Shawn, meet Dale Marie :) )

X-posted from my journal dale62676

Boston- Trans Shorts playing today

[gendercrash.livejournal.com]

Sat, May 20, 4:30 pm
The 22nd Annual Boston Gay and Lesbian Film/Video Festival
Museum of Fine Arts, Boston Remis Auditorium Co-presented by the Theater Offensive
Transgender Shorts Program

Transgender Shorts Program: Gender Crash by Marguerite Bergel and Matt McLaughlin (2006, 6 min., video), a work-in-progress documenting more than five years of Boston’s only queer/transgender/gender queer open mic; Boquita by Carmen Oquendo-Villar and Richard E. Ruiz (2005, 10 min., video), which presents a day in the life portrait of a transgender performer from the Dominican Republic who now resides in Jamaica Plain; Moustache by Vicki Sugars (2004, 14 min., video), a story that teaches sometimes it doesn’t pay to change your true self for the person you love; Jaywalking by Leigh Iacobuca and Kathy Hnang (2005, 9 min., video), a brief look at the inspirations, motivations, and implications of drag king performance; Secret Picnic by Philipe Lonestar (2004, 10 min., video), in which our gender-queer protagonists transform their violent pasts at a joyous afternoon picnic; Give or Take and Inch by Lee Friedlander (2002, 14 min., video), the story of a woman (Amanda Bearse) who must adjust when her lesbian sister announces she’s going to have a sex change; and With What Shall I Wash by Maria Trenor (Spain, 2003, 10 min., video), an animated short.
Copresented by GenderCrash, the Massachusetts Transgender Political Coalition, and Truth Serum Productions
Tickets: MFA members, seniors, and students $8; general admission $10.

life x2

[makeyourself-52.livejournal.com]

At the moment. I haven't told many people that I'm not who they see me as. I feel as if I'm living a double life almost. Yet, at the same time not living as myself at all. I can't be my true self or be treated as the person I am around anyone. The computer is my only outlet of being myself, which helps, but there's no physical contact. I am different with transkids I've met on the computer. I feel more like myself than around people I've know for years. Does anyone else feel this way? I know the two will converge at some time because I am who I am, people just don't know yet. It still feels like I'm living a lie.

(no subject)

[preludemaggot.livejournal.com]

anyone know how having high blood pressure and beign overweight can affect your chances of being ok to take Testosterone? are there any bad side effects?

thanks

rylee