I Really Have to Give My Sweetie More Credit.

[shelleybear.livejournal.com]

Most of the past two months I have not shaved, and watched my body hair grow back.
The other day the grumpy factor hit and Rachel said something about her "big hairy man".
Today I admitted to her how much this pissed me off, and she chastised me for not telling her when she first said it.
I think she's a keeper.

Drama!

[stacis-leak.livejournal.com]

I posted this on my qfyd blog and thought that it wouldn't actually be too out of place to crosspost it here.

Okay, so following on from the advice decided MONTHS ago by Josie, I have looked into some local amateur theatre groups.

The basic idea is that having no local friends (local as in Sheffield) with whom to be myself I am forced to go to Leeds (minimum) to even get called Stacy. Rather than just go out to meet local friends the idea was hurled up that perhaps finding a shared interest group would be a good starting point, and Josie suggested giving my confidence a wallop into gear by aiming towards amateur dramatics.

Well why not? I like the theatre, and we know I can perform (no potency puns please) so it seemed a perfect combo. Josie also mentioned that theatre groups tend to promote liberal thinking and therefore was likely to be transphobia free.

I sent an email to a group today and in hindsight I think perhaps I have been a little overly paranoid on finding out if they're transfriendly... do I come across a little... twitchy do you think?

( My email to the Apex Players )

Am I a daft moo or what?

6-6-06 drawing to a close

[tgirlvalentine.livejournal.com]

it seems an auspicious moment to think of philisphical thoughts. TO think about life, adn what it means. Much of my life for the past few years has been about change. It's been about sifting though emotional sludge and trying to find answers. I do this not only b/c i'm a transexual, but b/c I"m tired of hurting. I"m tired of being sad. I'm tired of feeling worthless, unwanted, unloved, and other such "icky" feelings. So I've been digging. On one hand i feel not much has changed. On the other, when i stop an dthink about it, it's lik ei'm --at the very least-- on the verge of a whole new world! I can see it glimmering just beyond where i can see. It's as if i KNOW it's there, even if i can't see it.
My transition itself i started on faith when I thoguth i was all but dead anyway. Faith, that itw ould somehow work out and that if i didn't do it NOW, it would never be "the same" as it could be. There's some extra fear associated with that faith, esspecially since i dont proscribe to much of the dogma thats out there, but it's faith non the less...and i suppose, when i break it down, whats most frightening, it's really faith in myself.
anyway. Life. I dont know what it means, i just know I want to be happy. I know happy doestn' come from damnation...not damning msyelf or damning other people, for who am I to judge? I mean really? I"m just a human trying to get along. How can i truely comprehend the workings of the Divine? how can i truely comprehend a being that created every single thing that exists? I need to learn to not be so judgemental to myself =0)
so on 6-6-06, the day of "omen"...which i've not seen btw...realize that most of the devils and demons that are out there, are the ones that we've created.

always

Mikaela

crossposted to tgirlvalentine, ozarks_tg, transgender, mtf