Honesty

[charron.livejournal.com]

I have a bit of a problem here. I'm a habitual liar when it comes to trans things. To my parents, mostly. Here's the latest problem.

See, I had this $100 gift card I got for graduation. I spent it. On girl clothes. Stuff I actually want to wear. But, every time my parents ask me if I've spent it yet (they want me to buy new boy clothes for college with it), I tell them I haven't spent it yet. I've managed to avoid getting caught so far, but I go away in three weeks and I can't keep this up forever. At the same time, I can't talk to them about it. My mom immediately arms her guilt trip the moment she catches me in anything feminine, and my dad comes close to violence when he finds out he's been lied to. I know I dug this rut myself, but I need some way to get out. And I need some way to train myself to stop lying about this all the time. I guess part/most of the problem is I'm afraid of disappointing my parents.... but they're already disappointed I was diagnosed as trans.

So, yea.

(no subject)

[acidslash.livejournal.com]

It's such a long road ahead of some of us -- it's just nice to know some have traveled it before. I'm glad there are those who lend the helping hand, even when it's in pursuit of a goal most do not find too noble. Lots of decisions, lots of money, and a lot of heartbreak ahead. Let's see where it goes, I guess. It's time to get down to brass tacks, for me, as I can no longer watch myself be what I can't be.

I'm glad you're all here -- not for me, per se, but just that you're here. It's comforting to know that.