Dysphoria :/

[gleek-boy.livejournal.com]

I don't have a question or anything, I just really need some support right now.

Recently I've been feeling quite confident about myself, increasingly since I've started social transition. But I still look like a girl. So much so and it's killing my spirit.

I've had long hair for years now because I'm a metalhead and I've always wanted to stay true to that side of me so I was stubborn about cutting my hair. But just now I was feeling so distressed that I cut a huge chunk out of my hair and I just look and feel so ridiculous. :(

I've made an appointment with a stylist to get it cut really short. But now I feel like a sell out and I'm terrified I'll still look like a woman. Plus I'm gonna be looking like an idiot until then with my terribly uneven hair.

I just feel so alone right now, and as though there's no light at the end of the tunnel for me.