Being pretty out but not wanting to be seenas trans, or something like that

[ellyrouge.livejournal.com]

Okay, that might seem a weird issue, but it really buggers me at this time.

Here's my situation: ( details )

I don't want to be completely stealth but I don't want people to out me either, and I have the impression that it's just some impossible thing to ask, and it's depressing me because I sometimes have the impression that there are things that will require me to cut myself off of my current friends and my current life if I want to experience them.

I don't know if other people have gone through similar stuff, but I would love to have some advice because I really feel torn apart and don't know what to thing anymore.