La lalalala, You're not a Tough Guy

[crimsonwolf82.livejournal.com]

x-posted in my journal

We(me, mom, evan, manda) were sitting around watching tv yesterday, a commercial for eHarmoney comes on.  for those who don't remember, quite a few of us tried to go on eHarmoney sometime last spring and were told that they couldn't find anyone for us...let's see I believe it was not only me, but 4 of my friends.  But the point being I brought up that fact to Evan, who had said he thought it would be a good service.  Even though he's been dating my sister for two years so why the hell would he need an online dating service? 

The real and true point being this conversation that followed:

Mom:Well, you are always giving those outrageous answers.

Me:I was nothing but honest.

Mom:Well, I think that you're not too honest with yourself about somethings that you say.

Me:...

Point a loaded gun at me why don't you?!?!?!  That was totally aimed at my being trans, coz she said it in that way where she'll take her shot at me, not say anything else, and then not ask me where I'm going when I get up to leave the room.  Even Manda and Evan felt it, the room got so fucking tense...of course that's because I unleashed the death stare.  It's not the fact that she's against it, because most parents are.  But that fact that she takes what should have been a light hearted moment, and turns it into a opportunity to let me know that she still thinks that this is just something that the counselling center put in my head.

I do understand why she can't accept it, I don't understand why she won't talk to me about why?  And it's not something I can even bring up.  It's always been her decision to bring it up, I told her that when I came out.  I let her know that if she doesn't want to talk about we won't, and that I won't bring it up if she doesn't want me to.  But to take cheap shots like that...well that makes her a bitch.