Society's expectations.
Jan. 29th, 2002 08:45 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
underthewire.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
transI saw something about this on a message board and it really made me think. I don't really know how to explain what was said on it except that the feeling it gave me was that some people were saying that transmen who date lesbians are some how betraying their trans identities or that their identites conflict with their sexuality.
I guess, I'm really confused about the whole idea. I am a transboi who dates lesbians, in fact I've never dated a straight girl because I know I wouldn't be comfortable with one. I've never felt like this conflicted with my trans identity.
They usually see me as a man, but they make love to me like a woman. I have a woman's body, so I don't have a problem with this. The ones who don't see me as a man or accept me as one I usually don't stay with unless there is a very strong emotional connection. I feel like we both get what we want out of the relationship. Emotionally my partners and I are attracted to each other, and physically we are attracted to each other.
I feel like the way I get sexual pleasure is a completely seperate thing from how I see my gender. I know that unlike many trans identified people I never had lots of body issues with the exception of my chest. As far as anything below the belt goes I've had it my entire life and I guess I'm just comfortable with it. I enjoy sex and I enjoy having a woman make love to me in a way that I can enjoy with my anatomy how it is.
I guess I think it's more a question of sexual orientation. Can one be emotionally attracted to someone of the opposite gender but physically attracted to someone of the same gender? If so what does that make them?
Anyone else want to help me out with this? I'm just...lost. Every now and then I think I've figured it out and it all makes sense, then I think it doesn't. I hope this makes sense. Somehow I feel like it doesn't, but perhaps that's just because I'm confused by it myself and that makes it hard to present to others. I keep going back and forth and I feel like I'm just talking myself in circles. Any thoughts? Thanks.
Seth
I guess, I'm really confused about the whole idea. I am a transboi who dates lesbians, in fact I've never dated a straight girl because I know I wouldn't be comfortable with one. I've never felt like this conflicted with my trans identity.
They usually see me as a man, but they make love to me like a woman. I have a woman's body, so I don't have a problem with this. The ones who don't see me as a man or accept me as one I usually don't stay with unless there is a very strong emotional connection. I feel like we both get what we want out of the relationship. Emotionally my partners and I are attracted to each other, and physically we are attracted to each other.
I feel like the way I get sexual pleasure is a completely seperate thing from how I see my gender. I know that unlike many trans identified people I never had lots of body issues with the exception of my chest. As far as anything below the belt goes I've had it my entire life and I guess I'm just comfortable with it. I enjoy sex and I enjoy having a woman make love to me in a way that I can enjoy with my anatomy how it is.
I guess I think it's more a question of sexual orientation. Can one be emotionally attracted to someone of the opposite gender but physically attracted to someone of the same gender? If so what does that make them?
Anyone else want to help me out with this? I'm just...lost. Every now and then I think I've figured it out and it all makes sense, then I think it doesn't. I hope this makes sense. Somehow I feel like it doesn't, but perhaps that's just because I'm confused by it myself and that makes it hard to present to others. I keep going back and forth and I feel like I'm just talking myself in circles. Any thoughts? Thanks.
Seth