Trying to figure things out.
Jul. 7th, 2005 09:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kengr posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
transOkay, I've been thinking about this for a while...
I don't seem to fit the "classic" TG model very well and I'm wondering who my experiences compare with others. I *definitely* don't fit the MtF TS model. :-)
First off, I never felt like I was in the "wrong body" when growing up.
But I *did* do a lot of stuff like trying to tuck my balls up inside. And as a teen I did a lot of fantasizing about being able to *change* genders. That is stuff about turning female *and back*. Either at will, or on some sort of cycle.
A few years back, I was doing some long term BDSM stuff with someone. And they had me do some crossdressing. It was intended as a sort of humiliation play, but I found I liked it. and it got me contacting the local trans group as well as building up a bit of a wardrobe.
One of the odder things to come of this are a number of incidents where I get "surprised" by seeing myself in a mirror when I didn't expect to. And sometimes I see myself as male and sometimes as female. No apparent pattern.
So... I'm just wondering if any of this sounds familiar to anyone else in the group.
I don't seem to fit the "classic" TG model very well and I'm wondering who my experiences compare with others. I *definitely* don't fit the MtF TS model. :-)
First off, I never felt like I was in the "wrong body" when growing up.
But I *did* do a lot of stuff like trying to tuck my balls up inside. And as a teen I did a lot of fantasizing about being able to *change* genders. That is stuff about turning female *and back*. Either at will, or on some sort of cycle.
A few years back, I was doing some long term BDSM stuff with someone. And they had me do some crossdressing. It was intended as a sort of humiliation play, but I found I liked it. and it got me contacting the local trans group as well as building up a bit of a wardrobe.
One of the odder things to come of this are a number of incidents where I get "surprised" by seeing myself in a mirror when I didn't expect to. And sometimes I see myself as male and sometimes as female. No apparent pattern.
So... I'm just wondering if any of this sounds familiar to anyone else in the group.