Pennsylvania Advice?

[awanderingsoul.livejournal.com]

First of all, SORRY for cross-posting this....

OK...here goes...in a nutshell....I am leaving a relationship....not by choice...but ultimately, it's the best thing for the both of us.

Now...on the downside....I am moving.....

Back home...to PA....to VERY conservation, catholic, and sadly closed-minded parents and family. I am going to have to hide my real self again...hopefully not for too long.

So...I am really torn and depressed at this point. In the past few years down here...I feel that I have made some deal of personal progress.....but still haven't even gone to a therapist....guess I never really figured out the best way to approach that......maybe I was just scared. But now...I feel between a rock and a hard place.....I don't want to "revert" to being "Matt" (ugh, hate that name now)......I want to be Lauren.....she is who I am.....

So...I guess what I am asking is.....what advice, if any....might you have to someone who has to hide who they want to be and revert for the time being......and more importantly....how would one approach such a topic with such closed-minded and judgemental people? I just worry...because right now...I am really relying on them heavily to get back on my feet....I never wanted it to come to that....but they, and all the family infact, has made it VERY clear...that they miss me terribly....and would love for me to move back north.

It will just be rough.....going back to a small town...with small town mentality......not even sure where I would find a therapist to start out in such a rural area.......

I just don't want Lauren to die......any help/advice?

*hugs*

Lauren