trans | Relationships and disclosure......

Some background first, I'm a 27 year-old MtF, I've been crossdressing for years, but have in the last month come to the realization that I very well may be transsexual and subsequently have been trying to sort things out in my mind and thinking out my next step is.

So I've been thinking about love relationships and how they can be influenced and complicated by my trans issues lately.

I haven't dated in forever and with going back to school and being social again I really want to start dating again. I've been abysmally lonely for the last two years and for obvious reasons I want to share my life with someone as all do.

But I'm having doubts on doing this due to my recent self-discovery and what the future may hold for me because of that. After about a month of deep introspection I'm now pretty sure (80%-90%) sure that I'm a transsexual woman, I'm not a man internally, and that I might be doing something in the future to reconcile my body with my mind. But I'm taking it slow, any kind of permanent change is a long ways off as I want to know for sure that this is what I need to do to be myself and happy with that.

But where does that leave my love life? I don't want to be dishonest or unethical, getting into a relationship with someone and then popping my gender issues on them in a year or sometime when I've made a final decision. That, IMHO, would be despicable.

On one and, if my feelings do turn out to be true, I'm willing put off getting into relationships for a few years for the sake of finding out who I truly am.

(Yes, I know you're all reading this wavering and saying, She's still in denial, I can see that too)

But one the other hand, if this just turns out to be something else then I doesn’t want to waste more of my life alone when I could be having some wonderful relationships with some awesome people.

So, I'm thinking of a compromise of seeking out dates actively and whatever happens happens. With luck I can find a pansexual/bi/lesbian that could have no problem with this, but that's a crapshot. But I would tell them about my issues and that transitioning could be in my future within the first month or two so if they bail neither one of us would have invested much time or emotion into the relationship.

I was wondering how other people have handled this while they were questioning or unsure and what you might think of my solution.

Cross posted to