I have a problem.
Well, it's not really a problem or a dilemma or anything; and it's not really bothering me; in fact, it's not negative at all. I guess it's just something I need to talk about.
Today, I realized something that's caused me to be unable to eat, sleep, or even concentrate on much of anything.
Today, I realized that I am in love.
It's a bit more complicated than that, even though a very good friend once told me that "when you're in it, you'll understand it's far more simple than you think." And my friend is right.
The kind of love I am in ... I don't want to mess it up. I feel as though I've known him/her forever, one of the best friends I could ever ask for.
But this isn't a romantic sort of feeling. There are no moments when I feel I must grab him/her by the arms and make-out, no no. It's difficult to describe and yet so basic. S/He has an addictive personality and is a good person, the sort you enjoy being around. S/He makes me feel comfortable and secure, that it's completely safe for me to be me. And I'm able to talk to him/her about anything; I even feel comfortable sitting in total silence with this person.
I never feel as though I have to impress him/her. I never feel inadequate or like I should censor myself for his/her sake. I can be me at all times, and even if the rest of the world doesn't approve of my existence, then at least s/he does.
This is someone I want to grow old with, someone I want to be there at my side come the world's end.
Ultimately, this isn't a romance I'm going to pursue---perhaps because I'm worried I might fuck up, but mostly because I feel like I don't need to.
I suppose that the real reason for this post was just to get my feelings off my chest and out there.
And possibly to ask for advice.
... suggestions?
Well, it's not really a problem or a dilemma or anything; and it's not really bothering me; in fact, it's not negative at all. I guess it's just something I need to talk about.
Today, I realized something that's caused me to be unable to eat, sleep, or even concentrate on much of anything.
Today, I realized that I am in love.
It's a bit more complicated than that, even though a very good friend once told me that "when you're in it, you'll understand it's far more simple than you think." And my friend is right.
The kind of love I am in ... I don't want to mess it up. I feel as though I've known him/her forever, one of the best friends I could ever ask for.
But this isn't a romantic sort of feeling. There are no moments when I feel I must grab him/her by the arms and make-out, no no. It's difficult to describe and yet so basic. S/He has an addictive personality and is a good person, the sort you enjoy being around. S/He makes me feel comfortable and secure, that it's completely safe for me to be me. And I'm able to talk to him/her about anything; I even feel comfortable sitting in total silence with this person.
I never feel as though I have to impress him/her. I never feel inadequate or like I should censor myself for his/her sake. I can be me at all times, and even if the rest of the world doesn't approve of my existence, then at least s/he does.
This is someone I want to grow old with, someone I want to be there at my side come the world's end.
Ultimately, this isn't a romance I'm going to pursue---perhaps because I'm worried I might fuck up, but mostly because I feel like I don't need to.
I suppose that the real reason for this post was just to get my feelings off my chest and out there.
And possibly to ask for advice.
... suggestions?