Help?

Nov. 6th, 2006 04:03 pm
[identity profile] the-mouse-king.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] trans
I have a problem.
Well, it's not really a problem or a dilemma or anything; and it's not really bothering me; in fact, it's not negative at all. I guess it's just something I need to talk about.

Today, I realized something that's caused me to be unable to eat, sleep, or even concentrate on much of anything.
Today, I realized that I am in love.

It's a bit more complicated than that, even though a very good friend once told me that "when you're in it, you'll understand it's far more simple than you think." And my friend is right.
The kind of love I am in ... I don't want to mess it up. I feel as though I've known him/her forever, one of the best friends I could ever ask for.

But this isn't a romantic sort of feeling. There are no moments when I feel I must grab him/her by the arms and make-out, no no. It's difficult to describe and yet so basic. S/He has an addictive personality and is a good person, the sort you enjoy being around. S/He makes me feel comfortable and secure, that it's completely safe for me to be me. And I'm able to talk to him/her about anything; I even feel comfortable sitting in total silence with this person.

I never feel as though I have to impress him/her. I never feel inadequate or like I should censor myself for his/her sake. I can be me at all times, and even if the rest of the world doesn't approve of my existence, then at least s/he does.
This is someone I want to grow old with, someone I want to be there at my side come the world's end.

Ultimately, this isn't a romance I'm going to pursue---perhaps because I'm worried I might fuck up, but mostly because I feel like I don't need to.
I suppose that the real reason for this post was just to get my feelings off my chest and out there.
And possibly to ask for advice.

... suggestions?

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