Introduction and a Question

[cb4260.livejournal.com]

Hi everyone. I’m new here. It’s nice to meet you all. I’m not TS, but I think transsexual and transgender people are really brave, so I guess you could say I’m an ally. I’m quite confused about my gender identity at the moment. I was born female and still am, at least physically. Sometimes I feel like a girl, sometimes like a guy, sometimes I feel androgynous, and sometimes I feel like I don’t have a gender at all… I’m asexual, and have been out as such for several months. Asexual means no sex drive (not no gender), and many asexuals have a much more stable gender identity than I do. Because I don’t have a boyfriend, most people I don't know well enough to be out to guess I’m a rape victim, or a lesbian, or a religious fundamentalist, but I’m none of those.

I know introductions are usually boring, so I want to ask a question. One of the things that frustrates me immensely is that none of my friends (including straights, gays, bisexuals, and asexuals) can tell me what makes someone seem like any particular gender. It seems crazy that we live in a society where people are judged and discriminated against by gender and yet no one even knows what gender consists of! What I want to know is this: is there a book or website somewhere with a list of all the things that make someone look masculine or feminine? Is there a list of all the masculine and feminine gestures? A list of which clothes are men only, which women only, and which are more or less unisex? A list of hairstyles? When I look at someone, I can tell if they have very masculine facial features, or very feminine ones, or a face that’s somewhere in between, but I don’t know how I or anyone else does that? Is there an explanation somewhere of what it is in a face that makes it look like a certain gender?

x-posted several places

Gender and Dating

[foxxygirltamara.livejournal.com]

Ever wish you could go back?
For those who were out as queer before coming out as trans, do you ever miss your old life? I still have a strong attraction to gay bois and whereas I could act on that before, I can't now. I've heard a couple guys who were out as lesbian before transition say they still feel close to the "dyke" identity. I know plenty of girls think boys kissing boys is hot but I used to be one of those boys. Sometimes I wish I could be a boy again just for a while. I'd much rather live my life as a girl but I wish everyone was available... *frustration*

Who likes trans people?
But who dates us? I know a couple guys who are dating straight women who have never been with another trans guy but the only guys I see for girls are chasers (with the exception of trans guys I know who are dating trans girls). What's up with that? And then I get bashed on the other side by dykes who reject me because my bits and pieces are different. I'm currently dating another trans girl and that works out just fine (and I can steal spiro or estro from her when I run out ^_^). Bi people aren't necessarily attracted to trans/gq people anymore than other people, so who do you look for when you're looking for potential partners? How do I know if someone likes me for me or is just fetishizing me?

When do you out yourself?
I just date among my friends but I also like to cruise OkCupid and MySpace for potential friends or partners in my area. If I say I'm "bi", I just get lots of guys messaging me. If I mention I'm trans, I get lots of creepy chasers guys. But if I don't say I'm trans then I weird people out when I tell them. *sigh* How do you present it? (I know chasers are pretty much a problem for trans women and not men but the question of how, when and if you mention your trans status is still the same).

(no subject)

[velvetlament.livejournal.com]

About a month ago I went to the doctors and got put on some meds, legally. Well the first time I went to get my scripts filled there was a little confusion but it was mostly my fault and I ended up getting them the next day.

My problem is that getting them refilled they're saying I cant. My insurance has some thing saying that I cannot get my Premarin filled because it's not FDA approved for use by males. I called the insurance company a few times and talked to some guy and was saying things like "the prescription was already approved when I originally got it, how could it become unapproved once already prescribed?", and things to that effect. I can still get my spironolactone fortunately.

Does anyone know of any FDA regulations either for or against Premarin or other estrogen supplements in regards to use by males? The whole reason why I got insurance was to get HRT officially started and if they're denying my medicine then there's no reason to stay with this company(to whom I'm paying a lot of money to).

Buying stuff

[foxxygirltamara.livejournal.com]

I got money and, as much as I don't want to buy "tranny clothes", I'm feeling the need to. I am thinking about Nearly Me Breast Enhancers (I have an A and fill it out with tissue paper). I am also thinking about getting a gaff, I just wear bikini underwear but I feel like it looks wrong when I wear tighter pants (not a definite bulge, just that area being pushed out from the inside when I tuck) so I wear my jacket around my waist oftentimes.

Do you have any experience with breast forms / enhancers or gaffs?

Sleeping with your hair

[ottermama.livejournal.com]

You know, I've been wondering about this for a while...

I'm in the process of growing my hair out, and I'm in an intermediate phase where I can't really pull the sides and bangs back very well but can pull the back together without too much of an issue. The problem I'm having, for the most part, is when I'm sleeping. My hair pulls up nice into pigtails, but I almost always sleep on my stomach and this means resting my head on one side or the other. Pigtails do not go well with this sort of sleep.

If I leave my hair loose at night, I find it wakes me up when it falls in my face or in my mouth. Do any of you have thoughts or experience with how to manage one's hair at night when it's not quite long enough? I should note that my skin is very sensitive and just a slight touch on it can wake me up. With my hair falling in various places on my face, it makes sleeping a bit of a chore sometimes. I've tried sleeping on my back only to wind up with leg cramps, and on my side with the same result as if I were on my stomach. Help?

Wig Help

[girlabomination.livejournal.com]

Hi all!

I'd imagine at least some of you have experience with wearing wigs, styling them, and maintaining them. I've recently recieved a new wig in the mail, and.. uhmmm It seems that it could use a bit of altering. I'd return it, but the company's service has been so horrible that I really don't want to deal with them anymore. Besides I like the texture.

Anyway, here's the problem: The color is not merely bright... it is a shade of what could be called "Albino Blonde." It's paler than my skin, and that's pretty darn impressive. I'd like to be able to make it a little more sun shine-brassy. Does anyone here have experience with dying wigs? I know the materials may well react differently than normal hair to dye, so I want to be careful. It's a fairly expensive accessory and I'd rather not botch it if at all possible.

Any help would be most appreciative! If not uhmm well there's always super pale foundation and red-violet contacts. :P