Self medicating/HRT part three (aka I'm such a bore and I'm sorry!)

[elodiesdream.livejournal.com]

Hello everyone out there,

 I'll cross post this entry to transgender so I can get as many responses as possible to aid my transition plans. Basically, it's 8:19am and after pretty much an entire night speaking to a new found fellow genderqueer/mtf & friend on msn from across the pond.

She has recently started spiro at 100mg a day, split into 50mg at breakfast and 50mg at lunch. For my transition I want to introduce spiro first. This might sound odd but at the moment my parents do not want me to take HRT. Therefore, I want to hault the (evil) male puberty right in its deep voiced, body hair tracks.

My question is this: how long is it safe to just take spiro before estrogen needs to be introduced? I don't intend on leaving it any longer than eight months but I just want to check. I read through a link said friend gave me (tinyurl.com/hrtandspiro) and page 7 seems to imply that it is safe to take spiro alone for a long period of time? However, we both agreed that the body would surely need the estrogen hormone after supressing the testosterone for so long?

I am 17 and she is 18 and the introduction may well have to be done without a doctors supervision due to multiple reasons. I just want to do this as safely as possible.

Sorry for so many posts based on the same topic, I hope I'm not driving people up the wall.
Have a lovely day, I feel I will be overdosing on caffeine for the next few hours...

Elodie xx

Seriously considering starting medical transition

[jessethebrave.livejournal.com]

WARNING: Serious genderconfused angst to follow.

This thing hits me in waves.  Gender confusion,  dysphoria, whatever - it's been crashing on me my entire life. When I was kid, it was just these tireless fantasies that I could hope and pray myself into a boy's body. As I got older, I let it out through those wonderful role playing games - GI Joes, Barbies, whatever, as long as I could briefly live out my male characters. I hated, and would not ever, be a female character in these games.

( Strange days )

I need help or advice or just someone to talk to

[saraookami.livejournal.com]

So yeah...I just joined today because I need someone to talk to about it and possibly get some advice. All my life I never really fit in being a girl n such and I seemed to like being boy-ish much better. It always seemed to fit me, who I was. I had some periods were I was starting to like being a girl, but they didn't last too long because in the end, I got uncomfortable, and felt like I was lieing to myself.  I just feel being a guy is really me, but I'm really scared too because I've physicly been a girl my whole life so becoming a guy seems scarey as well.

help?

[infiniteabysss.livejournal.com]

I need some advice/support and I’m hoping I can find it here. I guess I’ve always thought I could be trans. When I was a little girl(around 8 or 9) I had this “plan.” I planned on living half of my life as a female and the other half as a male. I wanted to transition and live out the other half of my life as male. I was excited about this. I couldn’t wait for it…but there was also a very sad part to it. I would leave every single person and thing behind. I didn’t want to “disappoint” anyone…or make them feel uncomfortable so it was something I thought I had to do. As time went on I would go online and enter chatrooms as male. I enjoyed acting as a male from behind of the safety of a computer screen. It wasn’t just to trick people and entertain myself. I felt happy and relaxed when playing this role. I felt like “me.” I would comb my hair in masculine styles behind closed doors. My parents told me that as a baby I would constantly try to pee standing up. They never thought of it as anything trans related. Maybe its not. I'm not comfortable being with guys with my body. I hate it. I do find men attractive though. If I had a male body I would be so much more comfortable sexually. Even romantically. I'm sad most of the time. I watch videos on the experiences of ftm’s and their transition. I see their progress and it excites me…like a little glimmer of hope. But I know I cannot unless I disappeared from everyone I know. This makes me so sad. I couldn’t do it. My family would not understand. My friends would try to be supportive but they would be uncomfortable even though they’d never admit to it. I’m depressed and would rather keep my loved ones happy than myself, but I don’t know how long I can go on like this. I feel lost. And trapped. Maybe transitioning isn't my only option...Any advice?Any similar experiences?