Transgender Community

Hi this is my first post (outside of the occasional comment) and I wanted to introduce myself before asking a quick question.

Lets see here. I'm an aries who likes to take long fast bike rides through congested urban streets. I also love cyclocross and bike polo. It's not surprising that this is my third year working in a bicycle shop. I'm also working toward a degree in psychology. I like gnocchi... a lot.

I was male assigned at birth, but live as a female identified anarcha-artisto-feministy-type queer. I prefer female pronouns. I've been on hormones for a little over a year and a half. I'm out to everyone. I'm introverted, but have extroverted moments and love to be social. Luckily, I'm pretty consistently read as my identified gender.

I tend to be radical (ie promoting an ideology that is outside the current established system) with my views, especially on a lot of trans and queer issues. Sometimes my sentence structure and concise writing can come off a bit harsh, please call me out on it, because my intent is never malicious.

I go by both evie and ryan (it's a girls name too!)

Here is my question:

I have to go to my Grandfather's funeral on Monday. This will be the first funeral that I have been to in almost 8 years... so way before anyone knowing about trans stuff. Although all of my family knows, I am certain that most of my home town, including all of their friends, doesn't.

I'm conflicted on what to wear. I no longer own any clothing that would be male appropriate funeral attire. I don't even know what would be considered female appropriate funeral attire. Also most of the clothing that I own tends to be... well, Marla Singer bike messenger chic.

Does anyone have suggestions? What should I wear? Although my family hasn't said anything I feel like there is this unspoken expectation for me to present male. I really don't want to, plus at this point I don't think it would be a realistic option.

Although i don't feel like I owe it to them to look a certain way, I think it's sort of crappy to just show up, surprise the hell out of about 300 hundred + people, and then leave my parents/family to deal with the aftermath. Ideally it shouldn't be a problem, but also I know transphobia.

halp!